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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

"I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back…"

I hung out with a friend today and found myself reflecting on marriage as I see them go on around me. I have seen people extremely important to me enter into phenomenal relationships. The relationships have absolutely been flawed, just as the people in them are, but there is so spiritual about finding a person who enters into a relationship with you and becomes better than either of you are on your own.

I feel blessed that I have a husband that I LOVE to be around. I love him, he inspires me, his is the embodiment of Christ's love to me. He makes me laugh. He fights for me and with me. I am proud OF him and proud to be his.
*BTW I think he would be straight up mortified if he read this. A giant bloggy, internet love letter to him.
Well Babe, deal with it. I love you. So there. ;)
With my friend this afternoon, I realized how comfortable I am to wander through a time where we don't really know where we're going WITH HIM. I don't really want to share him just yet. Turbulence and uncertainty become bearable when you know that at through the midst of it and at the end of it, they'll still be there.

And then you find a song that says the essence of what you are saying in a way that sounds SO much better. I don't know how I didn't know about them before but they are beyond phenomenal. Lacey turned me onto this song and I think so far it is my favourite even though "Falling" and "Barton Hollow" are W.I.C.K.E.D.


I love the stanza that starts, "Your hands can heal, your hands can bruise" and ends with "I don't have a choice but I still choose you". I love songs that hint at the complexity of marriage. When you enter the vulnerability of marriage, that person can hurt you far more than anyone else in you life but they can also bring unparalleled healing. When you enter in the commitment sombrely, you commit to them even when things aren't simple. It's not a matter of choosing to stay everyday, but each day you make the commitment to honour them, to choose them.
I also love in the video that they are in different rooms in the same house, singing the same song. Kinda like marriage. And MAN do they make beautiful music.

This may continue. This opposite schedule thing never feels natural. But I will at least try to supply you with new music each time.

P.S ~ Wicked cover of Poison and Wine with a three part harmony. Wow.
P.P.S ~ Profanity continues to be a huge issue. I've realized it makes up a large part of my sense of humour. So I'm not funny anymore. Unfortunately.
P.P.P.S ~ I made a wedding cake yesterday. What? Yeah, I did. It had styrofoam underneath. What a buzz kill, cuz you totally wanted to eat it.

Friday, February 24, 2012

"They're our objects of affection. That can mesmerize the soul."

This is what I was doing while I was 'studying' last night. Bourbon in hand (because my other coping mechanism is conveniently absent), I found this.


And then I could not stop laughing. Oh Jesus. So funny. Seriously doubt the Mother Mary was a helicopter mom. She was probably just…sane.

So I talked to my bench partner at school about me giving up profanity for Lent. She was sweet enough to commit to do it with me. I told her that she didn't have to because profanity in our environment is almost self-sabotage. But maybe it's a good thing for us to do it together, the whole "unevenly yoked" thing. I just bastardized that verse. Sorry God. Bri: 0. God: also 0. No one is winning.
Anyway, I have asked her to swat me whenever I swear. And to my surprise (and appreciation!) she has obliged. I've only been hit twice. She even told me that I should get an elastic for around my wrist for when she's not there for me. Love Lex. Long time. We're gonna beat this bitch situation together.

Definitely went running in sleeting rain today. Felt so good coming back from it but my hands were frozen. When your hands are constantly clenched as if you are holding an imaginary sandwich because you simply CANNOT move them. And then you get feeling back. And then you get the shakes. All of this while you're trying to turn the knobs on your bathtub on. I'm beginning to sound like a bit of a masochist, aren't I?

Fotos:
Moozh showed me this back. The coveting that commenced was INSANE.
Will Leather Goods. 
Found this picture. Jean Luc Picard is the MAN.
Amnesty International
Nature is amazing. Poland's "Crooked Forest". All bent at the trunk 90 degrees. All facing North.
Discovery Channel
My sister and I were just talking about this song. Oh my freakin' goooooosh. Mutemath is the new obsession of my heart. I would totally marry Mutemath if I weren't already married to Chai Eggnog…and Sleeping In, which are content to be sister wives.


I quoted Space Jam today. For reals. It came out of my mouth and I KNEW it was Friday.
Love somebody today.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Who are you again?

It has been a very very long time since I have been here. *Every time I start a post like that it makes me think of when I used to start my diary off like that as a kid. Like somehow my diary's feelings were hurt that I hadn't written in it. The dangers of anthropomorphization.
I have been spending more time with my new friend, The Oven Wall. It's a little more cathartic to process my schooling over there right now. Lots of pictures too.

Today is the first day of Lent! I have written about my love of Easter three times on this blog. My first year married I gave up negativity, which was difficult as I am a comfortably cynical and pessimistic person. I was also in a Creative Writing program and thus was in constant criticism of myself and my creative worth. Our second year, Moozh and I gave up alcohol, primarily because we came home from Christmas and went on a bender pretty much until my birthday. We lost a lot of weight last year. This year, we were poised to do the same thing and Moozh still might but I have been very compelled towards something different. I have been specifically mindful of my mouth lately. Be it profanity, criticism, untruth about myself or others, passivity, I have decided to surrender my mouth this Lent season. I have seriously dedicated my profanity. I am smarter than I sound for sure, and I also use profanity to be very lazy in the way that I communicate. But I love words so what's up with that?!

What I love about Lent is it is two fold. Part of it is fasting, a giving up of things that we feel have a hold on us. That's why so many people do alcohol, sweets, cigarettes, etc. But it is also a season of repentance, 're-thinking' in our lives and what we are committed to. It is seriously looking at yourself in the face and saying, "I am better than that" and then "this has got to change". It is a season where we enter into a markedly different dialogue with Christ than we probably do at any other time during the year. We move closer towards the Easter weekend, constantly aware of the sacrifice that we know he made for us. It mimics how Christ moved through the time leading up to his crucifixion. He knew what his sacrifice was going to be. He knew what was on the line and yet he still did it.

I love this vid that my best friend showed me. "And when he rose we all cheered cuz that meant the cheque cleared."

I love Easter for the hope. It is a season of new life, of healing, of being made new. Moozh and I are in a season of hope, where we are moving through changes and making a next step in our lives. Maybe it's a dog? Maybe it's a new noise machine for our bedroom.

I love Lent and the Easter season for the communion. So many meals with friends and family. Last Easter, we hosted Easter brunch and Moozh made THE spread. The man just does breakfast right. I do have to talk about the food because right now I am constantly surrounded by it. Instead of hot cross buns (WHO AM I KIDDING instead of hot cross buns -AS WELL AS hot cross buns!) I plan on making rum babas this Easter. Spiced buns soaked in a rum syrup. I ate six all by myself when we made them in class. It may or may not have been in one day. A lot of people don't like hot cross buns. Be it the dried fruit, or the spices, or the weird piping crud on top. I truly believe that, like bread pudding or fruitcake or rice pudding, most people have just only had really crappy versions. That most likely come from Safeway. (I am going to get sued for slander. Worth it.) Sometimes, they sincerely do not like it, textures being what they are. But I find it a really fun challenge to be passionate about a dish and try to introduce someone to a version of it done really well. If they still don't like it, you still get to have some for yourself. Worth it.

Moozh and I always have our engagement anniversary during Lent as well. The fact that Matt proposed to me on Palm Sunday sent it over the top for me. I already knew it was coming, I was so excited. And then it happened and could not have picked it better myself. A flawless day, cloudless sky, the bells from the churches were ringing for Palm Sunday and we were on our bridge. The only part that wasn't perfect. I was wearing a turban. So now all of the pictures are me with a turban. Worth it. Got myself a pretty phenom man.


I also had a cool encounter at church this past weekend. I was approached by this woman that I knew of, she's involved in community building at the church, but had never actually met. She just came up to me after the service and said, "I don't know why but I feel like I should be talking to you about spoken word." My journey with writing in the past month and a half has been tense because I so badly wish I had more to give to it but school is taking up so much of my time and core space that writing has had to take a back seat. I've just been wanting an opportunity where I could step into it and still keep a foot in it. My love of writing is based on that. It's always kept me sane. And so to have just a little nudge from the Lord where he says, "I gots this." I know that he will put things in my path. He has things "exceeding abundantly beyond than I could hope or imagine" after all.

May this week be one of hilarity. We're doing chocolate truffles tomorrow. Ermmmmmm. Chocolate is my nemesis.