I am stretching and my knees are groaning. I wonder if I go into my Russian exam tomorrow and say, "I understand Russian very poorly" what kind of mark I would get. I know it'll be grammatically perfect. Every time I talk to my teacher about the exam, she says "I know you will do great. You will have no problems." (I find I try to replicate her Russian pronunciation of English words because they are so quirky.) I feel like asking her to simply give me a mark she feels represents her faith in my ability and we can skip the whole examination thing.
Whenever I think about what I am so afraid of I kind of have to laugh at myself. Even if (EVEN IF!) I bomb the exam so hard, I fail and even if I fail the class, that sucks but it's totally not the end of the world. I won't die. My husband still loves me. God's never going to ask me in eternity about an exam that I did or didn't do as well as I expected. And he's surely never going to ask if I gave myself an stomach ulcer from anxiety over them. Get a grip! We're over it.
Christmas time is such a sensory time of year. Fuzzy socks, caramel candles, tiny jingle bells that catch your ear, downy snow (or if you're in Vancouver, green grass), and spiced apple cider. All of our Christmas presents are wrapped under the tree. Purchased and wrapped before Dec 1 even hit. We're not type-A. Headed to Cowtown for Christmas. Got my down jacket and St. Bernard on call for snow emergencies. I miss my family a bit. I had this pang a couple of weeks back for my sisters. I just wanted to hang out with them, be in their space. Blandinka's nesting right now in her cute little life and she invited Matt and I to stay with them one night. Cutest thing ever. And I'm so pumped to see Matt's family too. Just to hang out and enjoy an enjoyable holiday with everyone. And gain lots of weight!!
С Рождеством! Merry Christmas!
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