You know, like the Buried Life!

Brilliant, lovely Lacey wrote this in a communal diary at a coffee shop and it stuck in my head and did a cool little dance.

"don't be anyone's slogan 'cause you are poetry"

I have begun formulating a list of life dreams. It is essentially a bucket list but I'm not exactly sure why I don't like calling it that. I think it is because of that fact that I serve a God who won't take me a second earlier or later than he planned. I don't want to dream with the end in mind. I want to dream. Period.

~I want to work on a farm. When Matt and I were in Maui, Lahaina had quite a few of these rad restaurants that had their own farm up on the volcano. They prepared and served only local food, farmed themselves, and served fish they caught that day. I love the idea of being part of a movement that nurtures the earth and our bodies. The fact that we've come to a place where we can get tomatoes at any time of the year but that they really don't taste like real tomatoes at all, really scares me.

~I want to ride on an elephant or a camel. I stole this one from my mom. She showed me her list when I was about 13 and the thought of riding an elephant or a camel took hold of my mind and captured my imagination. I will most definitely sing "Prince Ali" while I'm doing it. Guaranteed.

~I want to see the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. I want to see Jerusalem period but the Wailing Wall is such a beautiful image to me. It is a very physical surrendering of your prayers and your worries to God. The Jewish faith is so rich and layered and the little boys with their funny Hasidic haircuts! Seriously adorable.

~I want to march in a protest. I want it to be a protest that matters to me obviously but I want to be part of a demonstration of my liberty. There are so many marches that occur for many different reasons that I just need to get off my butt and do. Like the Take Back the Night march to end domestic violence. Or the Stolen Sisters march. Women's Studies always makes me a little uppity but I can tell it is because those issues tug at a very real place within me. It's not just about women, it's about people and how we live in our world. Different races, classes, histories. I live in a country that guarantees me the right to protest and have a voice. Lacey and I protested once but we protested outside City Hall on a Sunday so no one was there. And then we walked to the library.

~I want to assist a midwife. Lacey and Matt would get this because we watched it on The Buried Life! Which is a totally rad show if you're looking for something to watch FOR FREE, ONLINE! (It's the newest excitement). I want to give birth at home but I would also love to be part of that experience with someone else. And I have come a long way from my first experience as a labour coach thank you very much and if we could leave those stories in the realm of 'when I was seventeen...' that would be considerably less embarrassing.

~ I want to grow a garden on a window sill. This is reflective of my urban obsession. Or I'm sure this could also be construed as an obsession to nurture things. Hmmm. I like our little apartment and our big windows and the retro window sills. And I get more and more aggressive when I think about grocery stores the more I watch crazy movies that make me feelguilty.

~ I want to learn how to longboard. The kind on wheels and the kind on the ocean. It looks so fun to stand on a huge surfboard and paddle along. I think the wheel kind may be more attainable at the moment but Vic and Van have waterfronts. And I always see spandexed people out there, way out in the ocean. What are they doing, you ask? Maybe longboarding. Or doing sea research (umm...I guess). Or drowning.

~ I want to do a triathalon. I think it would be such a cool thing to work towards and actually accomplish. I don't need or want to compete. How I do in it isn't important to me (and kind of scares me actually) but I think to do something like that would be such a rush.

~ Guerilla knit or crochet. Make a little hat or something for the numerous commemorative statues that pepper downtown. Queen Victoria is just asking for a sceptre cozy. Ahaha, so fun!

~ I want to sit for hours with my feet in the ocean and write. I want to allow myself to be inspired by my surroundings and by my world. Last year, I sat in Fish Creek park and that where I wrote a lot of the things for my portfolio into UVIC. Sitting alone while the wind combed through and sculpted the long grass was an incredible feeling. It made me feel small but it made me aware of the powerful world that hosts me.

I want to constantly add to this but Lacey and I talked about how you need to have some big things but small things that you can do in the meantime.

Babies

I have had two different babies on my heart lately. Their birthdays are almost a week apart and they are very very special to me.

Music has such a strong memory recall for me, everything from singing along to "Christmas Don't Be Late" by Alvin and the Chipmunks for the thirteenth time on the way to Grandma's house to watching my dad bliss out to 'Hey Jude' in high school. Music is how my family communicates with each other.

At work tonight, in my flu-y, allergy clotted stupor, The Scientist by Coldplay came on. I had to stop and marinate in the memory for a bit. It made me think of my sister's wee little, wonderful son who's watching over her. I wrote about my sister's pregnancy for my Creative NonFiction class and immersing myself in the breathtaking memory and heartbreaking story made his third birthday this year just a little more melancholy than usual.

And then today, literally the cutest, funniest toddler I know turned one today! Little Ansel Luke is Matt's godson and every time I see a picture of him or hear his mom tell a story about him, I burst out laughing. He has such personality, and so much of his parents in him. He has the cutest little expression, little curls in his brow when he's skeptical or a huge triangular mouth that smiles with glee as he pushes other kids at daycare out of the way for the water

table.

And then Matt and I went to Van over the weekend and went to a wicked, wonderful church that we love a lot. I am very moved by that church and I cry every time we go there. Obviously, the Lord reaches me there. They did a baby dedication on Sunday and I cried through the baby dedication! I have never cried through a baby dedication before...but I did this time. The pastor talked about how married couples are given a unique and intimate privilege to imitate God in the act of creation. That's what got me. I thought of Beau; I thought of Luke; I thought of the little one in my heart that will have my husband's long eyelashes and hopefully his gorgeous, fierce spirit. I thought about how breathtaking and simultaneously terrifying it will be to create life.

Easter is in two

and a half weeks! I LOVE Easter. Have I said this? More than Christmas. It is beautiful. I love this picture. I saw it on Flickr and I thought it was soo cool. I've only dyed eggs once for Easter and I thought it was no big whoop. But my cousin did drop his eggs in from standing height and after that there wasn't any dye left. Maybe that's why.

On another note: my wonderful, gorgeous best friend gets here in four days!!!! OmmmmmmmG! That is four sleeps.