I never worked this hard in university. I never HAD TO. But baking school man, has given me an anxiety disorder. Kidding! I already had one.
I've posted some baking escapades over on The Oven Wall. Truffles, chocolate shops and my hatred of eclairs.
How 'bout some pictures?
Pretty much crazy about these glasses. Anthropologie. Eeee.
I want this hair on my head RIGHT NOW. I found this blog called Fuck Yeah Hair and I spend a really shameful amount of time on it. I sometimes even wish my hair was a pastel. Even though I know I don't want that. But there's a lot I do want on here. Too bad hair's not like makeup. If it was, I would totally be bald right now. Because I could have my hair back tomorrow.
My father-in-law bought me this cookbook for Christmas because he obviously loves me and wants me to be happy. This cookbook, y'all, seriously is so good. The pictures alone. I feel good about my skills by just reading it. It's like transferrence. So thank you Bourke Street. Australians are good for society. They do these creme brûlée tarts that are vanilla custard tarts with the caramelized sugar crust on top. Genius. Or they do bread with roasted potatoes in it. Their brainstorming sessions must be a ton of fun. Givin' the green light on awesomeness.
You see the creme brûlée tarts? Far right? Booyah.
Having a couple days off from school has been great for my perspective. I was able to read today, drink some coffee that wasn't cold, go for a walk on the beach, workout in the daylight. I have been downright spoiled. Bankybear has it's spring finest on right now. All the trees are budding, flowers are sprouting up from the ground. And our lives are all drizzle so it's definitely spring in the Pacific Northwest. This is the point in the year that I cuddle my SAD lamp like a lap dog. "The summer makes up for it." I keep hearing this so it must be true.
I'm taking my camera out for documentation sake tomorrow regardless.
I am feeling quite sheepish and rather…swollen as I sit here. I had one of those "How did…what just HAPPENED to me?!" Last night, we had small group and it was amazing as per usual but it was SO late. Sunday nights are usually about a four hour night for me, which I cope with in my typical way on Monday: bad mood, copious profanity and solitude. Have to admit, all of those things were hugely exaggerated today.
Last night, as I was setting up everything that I was going to need in the morning outside the bedroom, I set some stuff down on one of our dining chairs and then rotated in an easily achievable occipital movement. I obviously did so a little bit faster and more drastic than was necessary because the left side of my nose met swiftly and disagreeably with the door frame of our bathroom. And it made the sound of splintering wood. Mega gross. I spent about thirty seconds waiting for my nose to start bleeding (which it didn't) and trying to figure out whether my nose was broken. I have no idea how much force is necessary to break a nose. I really hoped that being a doofus couldn't supply said necessary force. I hit my nose hard enough to break the skin on the outside, so I have a nice, bloodied divot on the bridge of my nose. Of course, at this point I'm crying just because I hit myself in the face and my eyes are making me pay for such aggression in their near vicinity.
Matt is trying to understand WHAT JUST HAPPENED and I almost wouldn't tell him out of sheer embarrassment. I iced it for about twenty minutes before going to sleep. I woke up and the 'bullseye area' on my face is so swollen. It hurts to chew, laugh, frown and certainly do anything related to my nose's intended function. I don't have a black eye. Yet. But of course I also don't know what kind of force is necessary to get a black eye either. Any time I've achieved one in the past it has been due to being RETARDED. Being hit in the face with a rolling rack, hitting my face on the side of the bathtub trying to wash my hair, etc. It's a hard knock life, you know, being clumsy. I get points for effort though.
This has been inspirational. It has also supplied me with bursts of unmitigated laughter in situations like riding the bus, sitting in lecture, and sleeping.
How did he do that!?
This and Bulleit Bourbon are my official sponsors* during this week leading up to midterms. Coping mechanisms are a situational necessity. Baby Duck champagne was a running contender for sponsorship but eventually lost out due to the fact that half of it is bubbles. Bubbles don't help.
Found another girl with serious game. Her voice is just delicious. Lianne La Havas. There are times that I hear stuff like Adele's first album. A little bit of Joss Stone. Little bit of Amy Winehouse. And she's cheeky which is a always a bonus. On her FB profile she says that she's nothing like Corrine Bailey Rae or Andreya Triana "but we have similar hair". And amazing hair it is. I have sincerely prayed that the Lord would give me her hair in another life. (*It's easy to get her, Andreya Triana and Corrine Bailey Rae confused. They are all British, biracial and have smokin' voices. Their styles are so different though. I heard a version of Que Sera by Corrine Bailey Rae at Glastonbury-an 8 minute version mind you- and was mesmerized nearly the whole time. I may have been mesmerized by her jumpsuit at one point. Not gonna lie.)
Her song "Lost and Found" is so heartbreaking. It's simply just how someone can so easily break into your brokenness and fuel it. Her voice is so beautiful you almost miss the meaning of the song but then you listen and then you feel sad. But you're still groovin'.
I am repeating with The Civil Wars what I did with Adele's album last year. I wake up singing it. My dreams include it. I encounter random trigger words that remind me of one of their songs. Try it out.
*Bulleit Bourbon is not actually an official sponsor. Come on now. That would be awesome though.
I hung out with a friend today and found myself reflecting on marriage as I see them go on around me. I have seen people extremely important to me enter into phenomenal relationships. The relationships have absolutely been flawed, just as the people in them are, but there is so spiritual about finding a person who enters into a relationship with you and becomes better than either of you are on your own.
I feel blessed that I have a husband that I LOVE to be around. I love him, he inspires me, his is the embodiment of Christ's love to me. He makes me laugh. He fights for me and with me. I am proud OF him and proud to be his.
*BTW I think he would be straight up mortified if he read this. A giant bloggy, internet love letter to him.
Well Babe, deal with it. I love you. So there. ;)
With my friend this afternoon, I realized how comfortable I am to wander through a time where we don't really know where we're going WITH HIM. I don't really want to share him just yet. Turbulence and uncertainty become bearable when you know that at through the midst of it and at the end of it, they'll still be there.
And then you find a song that says the essence of what you are saying in a way that sounds SO much better. I don't know how I didn't know about them before but they are beyond phenomenal. Lacey turned me onto this song and I think so far it is my favourite even though "Falling" and "Barton Hollow" are W.I.C.K.E.D.
I love the stanza that starts, "Your hands can heal, your hands can bruise" and ends with "I don't have a choice but I still choose you". I love songs that hint at the complexity of marriage. When you enter the vulnerability of marriage, that person can hurt you far more than anyone else in you life but they can also bring unparalleled healing. When you enter in the commitment sombrely, you commit to them even when things aren't simple. It's not a matter of choosing to stay everyday, but each day you make the commitment to honour them, to choose them.
I also love in the video that they are in different rooms in the same house, singing the same song. Kinda like marriage. And MAN do they make beautiful music.
This may continue. This opposite schedule thing never feels natural. But I will at least try to supply you with new music each time.
P.S ~ Wicked cover of Poison and Wine with a three part harmony. Wow.
P.P.S ~ Profanity continues to be a huge issue. I've realized it makes up a large part of my sense of humour. So I'm not funny anymore. Unfortunately.
P.P.P.S ~ I made a wedding cake yesterday. What? Yeah, I did. It had styrofoam underneath. What a buzz kill, cuz you totally wanted to eat it.
This is what I was doing while I was 'studying' last night. Bourbon in hand (because my other coping mechanism is conveniently absent), I found this.
And then I could not stop laughing. Oh Jesus. So funny. Seriously doubt the Mother Mary was a helicopter mom. She was probably just…sane.
So I talked to my bench partner at school about me giving up profanity for Lent. She was sweet enough to commit to do it with me. I told her that she didn't have to because profanity in our environment is almost self-sabotage. But maybe it's a good thing for us to do it together, the whole "unevenly yoked" thing. I just bastardized that verse. Sorry God. Bri: 0. God: also 0. No one is winning.
Anyway, I have asked her to swat me whenever I swear. And to my surprise (and appreciation!) she has obliged. I've only been hit twice. She even told me that I should get an elastic for around my wrist for when she's not there for me. Love Lex. Long time. We're gonna beat this bitch situation together.
Definitely went running in sleeting rain today. Felt so good coming back from it but my hands were frozen. When your hands are constantly clenched as if you are holding an imaginary sandwich because you simply CANNOT move them. And then you get feeling back. And then you get the shakes. All of this while you're trying to turn the knobs on your bathtub on. I'm beginning to sound like a bit of a masochist, aren't I?
Fotos:
Moozh showed me this back. The coveting that commenced was INSANE.
My sister and I were just talking about this song. Oh my freakin' goooooosh. Mutemath is the new obsession of my heart. I would totally marry Mutemath if I weren't already married to Chai Eggnog…and Sleeping In, which are content to be sister wives.
I quoted Space Jam today. For reals. It came out of my mouth and I KNEW it was Friday.
Love somebody today.
It has been a very very long time since I have been here. *Every time I start a post like that it makes me think of when I used to start my diary off like that as a kid. Like somehow my diary's feelings were hurt that I hadn't written in it. The dangers of anthropomorphization.
I have been spending more time with my new friend, The Oven Wall. It's a little more cathartic to process my schooling over there right now. Lots of pictures too.
Today is the first day of Lent! I have written about my love of Easter three times on this blog. My first year married I gave up negativity, which was difficult as I am a comfortably cynical and pessimistic person. I was also in a Creative Writing program and thus was in constant criticism of myself and my creative worth. Our second year, Moozh and I gave up alcohol, primarily because we came home from Christmas and went on a bender pretty much until my birthday. We lost a lot of weight last year. This year, we were poised to do the same thing and Moozh still might but I have been very compelled towards something different. I have been specifically mindful of my mouth lately. Be it profanity, criticism, untruth about myself or others, passivity, I have decided to surrender my mouth this Lent season. I have seriously dedicated my profanity. I am smarter than I sound for sure, and I also use profanity to be very lazy in the way that I communicate. But I love words so what's up with that?!
What I love about Lent is it is two fold. Part of it is fasting, a giving up of things that we feel have a hold on us. That's why so many people do alcohol, sweets, cigarettes, etc. But it is also a season of repentance, 're-thinking' in our lives and what we are committed to. It is seriously looking at yourself in the face and saying, "I am better than that" and then "this has got to change". It is a season where we enter into a markedly different dialogue with Christ than we probably do at any other time during the year. We move closer towards the Easter weekend, constantly aware of the sacrifice that we know he made for us. It mimics how Christ moved through the time leading up to his crucifixion. He knew what his sacrifice was going to be. He knew what was on the line and yet he still did it.
I love this vid that my best friend showed me. "And when he rose we all cheered cuz that meant the cheque cleared."
I love Easter for the hope. It is a season of new life, of healing, of being made new. Moozh and I are in a season of hope, where we are moving through changes and making a next step in our lives. Maybe it's a dog? Maybe it's a new noise machine for our bedroom.
I love Lent and the Easter season for the communion. So many meals with friends and family. Last Easter, we hosted Easter brunch and Moozh made THE spread. The man just does breakfast right. I do have to talk about the food because right now I am constantly surrounded by it. Instead of hot cross buns (WHO AM I KIDDING instead of hot cross buns -AS WELL AS hot cross buns!) I plan on making rum babas this Easter. Spiced buns soaked in a rum syrup. I ate six all by myself when we made them in class. It may or may not have been in one day. A lot of people don't like hot cross buns. Be it the dried fruit, or the spices, or the weird piping crud on top. I truly believe that, like bread pudding or fruitcake or rice pudding, most people have just only had really crappy versions. That most likely come from Safeway. (I am going to get sued for slander. Worth it.) Sometimes, they sincerely do not like it, textures being what they are. But I find it a really fun challenge to be passionate about a dish and try to introduce someone to a version of it done really well. If they still don't like it, you still get to have some for yourself. Worth it.
Moozh and I always have our engagement anniversary during Lent as well. The fact that Matt proposed to me on Palm Sunday sent it over the top for me. I already knew it was coming, I was so excited. And then it happened and could not have picked it better myself. A flawless day, cloudless sky, the bells from the churches were ringing for Palm Sunday and we were on our bridge. The only part that wasn't perfect. I was wearing a turban. So now all of the pictures are me with a turban. Worth it. Got myself a pretty phenom man.
I also had a cool encounter at church this past weekend. I was approached by this woman that I knew of, she's involved in community building at the church, but had never actually met. She just came up to me after the service and said, "I don't know why but I feel like I should be talking to you about spoken word." My journey with writing in the past month and a half has been tense because I so badly wish I had more to give to it but school is taking up so much of my time and core space that writing has had to take a back seat. I've just been wanting an opportunity where I could step into it and still keep a foot in it. My love of writing is based on that. It's always kept me sane. And so to have just a little nudge from the Lord where he says, "I gots this." I know that he will put things in my path. He has things "exceeding abundantly beyond than I could hope or imagine" after all.
May this week be one of hilarity. We're doing chocolate truffles tomorrow. Ermmmmmm. Chocolate is my nemesis.
Seriously. At 530 this morning, I was obscuring any exposed flesh on my face with all manner of woollen things. *And may I preface this by saying that it's not really that cold here. Yesterday it was -13 here with the wind chill. In my feeble whining my sister slapped me up the acclimatized back of my head when it was -39 where she is. Jesus takes a snow day when it's that cold.*
But this morning, when I'm disgruntled and tired in the wee hours at the end of my week, when I'm stressed about my first test, when I do not want a repeat of the frozen finger misery of the day before but I'm impressed that I got my shit together and was walking out the door by 615, I was basing my preparation for the day on the information that I had available to me. Namely, the assumption that yesterdays winter weather would be todays winter weather. But you know what they say about people that assume things. THEY BECOME HARSH AND RESENTFUL HUMAN BEINGS. I walk out of school, with all of my woollens -my ABSORBENT woollens may I remind -all of my school laundry, my heavy ass textbook and my baked goods into SLEET. Sleet is a four letter word in my world (even though it's a five letter word). I let the expletives fly the whole fifteen minute walk home, wherein my boots came untied (frantic pom pom action) and became completely drenched, my toque fell over my eyes and due to my heavy-laden-ness, I couldn't even fix it. I came home, swore at my boots, put on some sweatpants and made myself some tea. Now I feel better. Good grief Bankybear.
And now it's Friday. On the weekend I tend to eat three square meals a day and get enough rest. This is why we have a weekend. At school right now, we eat wonderful meals prepared by the culinary students and that is easily the best (and sometimes only) meal I eat all day. I don't' eat in the morning and then when I get home, I'm tired enough that sometimes I manage myself a smoothie but then that's it for the rest of the day. Sometimes I don't even manage that. It kind of sounds like my life is harsh but to be honest, my walk home today was the first moment in the past three weeks that I haven't thought "My life is bliss". Life is wonderful right now. When I make it home, I am TIRED. But my mind is still active. (That makes me sound like I'm decrepit or something. I'm 22. I sure hope my mind is still active.) All I need is a good forty five minutes where I sit in our comfy chair and don't move. I get to blog and hunt down recipes. My mind doesn't stop when it comes to school related things pretty much until I fall into bed.
I've been posting quite a bit on The Oven Wall which has been fun. I've posted a lot of Moozh's stuff too which always looks so pretty. He made a puff pastry yesterday that looked so tasty! I've learned croissants (which I'm determined to try out again this weekend) and we just started our cookie unit after breads, quick breads, and viennoiserie which is breads like brioche and hot cross buns. I'm trying to make a list of things that I want to try out once I get to advanced kitchen. We'll have an opportunity to do a little bit more and have a bit more fun. Red wine bread, banana bread with sourdough are among them. If anyone could issue a challenge, I would love the inspiration.
I hope to get some good picture of croissants over the weekend. In the meantime, this is what I'm going to deal with:
And you can't see the bag of danishes that has migrated westward or the loaf of carrot cake that is still on the counter. This is all from this week!