Who are you again?

It has been a very very long time since I have been here. *Every time I start a post like that it makes me think of when I used to start my diary off like that as a kid. Like somehow my diary's feelings were hurt that I hadn't written in it. The dangers of anthropomorphization.
I have been spending more time with my new friend, The Oven Wall. It's a little more cathartic to process my schooling over there right now. Lots of pictures too.

Today is the first day of Lent! I have written about my love of Easter three times on this blog. My first year married I gave up negativity, which was difficult as I am a comfortably cynical and pessimistic person. I was also in a Creative Writing program and thus was in constant criticism of myself and my creative worth. Our second year, Moozh and I gave up alcohol, primarily because we came home from Christmas and went on a bender pretty much until my birthday. We lost a lot of weight last year. This year, we were poised to do the same thing and Moozh still might but I have been very compelled towards something different. I have been specifically mindful of my mouth lately. Be it profanity, criticism, untruth about myself or others, passivity, I have decided to surrender my mouth this Lent season. I have seriously dedicated my profanity. I am smarter than I sound for sure, and I also use profanity to be very lazy in the way that I communicate. But I love words so what's up with that?!

What I love about Lent is it is two fold. Part of it is fasting, a giving up of things that we feel have a hold on us. That's why so many people do alcohol, sweets, cigarettes, etc. But it is also a season of repentance, 're-thinking' in our lives and what we are committed to. It is seriously looking at yourself in the face and saying, "I am better than that" and then "this has got to change". It is a season where we enter into a markedly different dialogue with Christ than we probably do at any other time during the year. We move closer towards the Easter weekend, constantly aware of the sacrifice that we know he made for us. It mimics how Christ moved through the time leading up to his crucifixion. He knew what his sacrifice was going to be. He knew what was on the line and yet he still did it.

I love this vid that my best friend showed me. "And when he rose we all cheered cuz that meant the cheque cleared."

I love Easter for the hope. It is a season of new life, of healing, of being made new. Moozh and I are in a season of hope, where we are moving through changes and making a next step in our lives. Maybe it's a dog? Maybe it's a new noise machine for our bedroom.

I love Lent and the Easter season for the communion. So many meals with friends and family. Last Easter, we hosted Easter brunch and Moozh made THE spread. The man just does breakfast right. I do have to talk about the food because right now I am constantly surrounded by it. Instead of hot cross buns (WHO AM I KIDDING instead of hot cross buns -AS WELL AS hot cross buns!) I plan on making rum babas this Easter. Spiced buns soaked in a rum syrup. I ate six all by myself when we made them in class. It may or may not have been in one day. A lot of people don't like hot cross buns. Be it the dried fruit, or the spices, or the weird piping crud on top. I truly believe that, like bread pudding or fruitcake or rice pudding, most people have just only had really crappy versions. That most likely come from Safeway. (I am going to get sued for slander. Worth it.) Sometimes, they sincerely do not like it, textures being what they are. But I find it a really fun challenge to be passionate about a dish and try to introduce someone to a version of it done really well. If they still don't like it, you still get to have some for yourself. Worth it.

Moozh and I always have our engagement anniversary during Lent as well. The fact that Matt proposed to me on Palm Sunday sent it over the top for me. I already knew it was coming, I was so excited. And then it happened and could not have picked it better myself. A flawless day, cloudless sky, the bells from the churches were ringing for Palm Sunday and we were on our bridge. The only part that wasn't perfect. I was wearing a turban. So now all of the pictures are me with a turban. Worth it. Got myself a pretty phenom man.

I also had a cool encounter at church this past weekend. I was approached by this woman that I knew of, she's involved in community building at the church, but had never actually met. She just came up to me after the service and said, "I don't know why but I feel like I should be talking to you about spoken word." My journey with writing in the past month and a half has been tense because I so badly wish I had more to give to it but school is taking up so much of my time and core space that writing has had to take a back seat. I've just been wanting an opportunity where I could step into it and still keep a foot in it. My love of writing is based on that. It's always kept me sane. And so to have just a little nudge from the Lord where he says, "I gots this." I know that he will put things in my path. He has things "exceeding abundantly beyond than I could hope or imagine" after all.

May this week be one of hilarity. We're doing chocolate truffles tomorrow. Ermmmmmm. Chocolate is my nemesis.

"And he shall reign forever and ever…"

Eater Sunnay!

Today was beautiful. What is HILARIOUS (I swear, no really *gritted teeth* hi-lar-i-ous) is that all of Holy Week, no lie, all the way until yesterday was gorgeous. Sunny, no clouds in the sky, everyone was happy. And then today, when Christ freakin' rose from the dead, it rains. All. Day. Long. Depressed.

But today was beautiful. I made hot cross buns and they were delicious. I don't even have any pictures of them because they were all devoured. Which is better than tire-buns circa 2010. And Moozh made one hell of a spread fer sure. A big, cheesy frittata and sausage and hashbrowns. And I drank wine from 11 in the morning until I speak to you now. Am I done Lent or am I done Lent? (I sound like Jerry Seinfeld.)

And we fixed our biceys up so we are superstars. Mine looks like a steampunk champ. And his name is Archimedes. (More this one, less this one.) Moozh's is the coolest matte grey with blue bar tape. I will post pichers once they are all finished. They're single speeds. Call us doucheballoons if you want. We live in Bankybear so we're halfway there anyway. But they are good biceys…when you're not on a hill.

I thought I could post a picher of the dress I got for my zalovka's* wedding in Maui. Pockets! And it's a light fabric. And I don't have to wear a bra which is awesome.

*Sissy in law :)

I also have a very green windowsill in my kitchen now. Two bucks a pop and I have four fresh herbs that I am struggling with now. They smell delicious and I am determined to keep them alive. And eat them. It's a deal. I took four books (FOUR) out of the library on indoor gardening. But our lovely neighbour has the plots in the backyard of our building and she offered to share some of her spoils haul with us.

Let's think about summer and maybe we can bring it about :)

"The Beauty of the body that was broken for our forgiveness…"

Tomorrow is my favourite day and I preparation for it I wanted to post just a short meditation. My bestie Lacey receives these mediations every day that are magnificent and I want to post them here. You can subscribe to them through the Centre for Action and Contemplation.

I thank you, Lord Jesus, for becoming a human being

so I do not have to pretend or try to be God.

I thank you, Lord Jesus, for becoming finite and limited

so I do not have to pretend that I am infinite and limitless.

I thank you, crucified God, for becoming mortal

so I do not have to try to make myself immortal.

I thank you, Lord Jesus, for becoming inferior

so I do not have to pretend that I am superior to anyone.

I thank you for being crucified outside the walls,

for being expelled and excluded like the sinners and outcasts,

so you can meet me where I feel that I am,

always outside the walls of worthiness.

I thank you for becoming weak, Lord Jesus,

so I don’t have to be strong.

I thank you for being willing to be considered

imperfect and strange,

so I do not have to be perfect and normal.

I thank you, Jesus, for being willing to be disapproved of,

so I do not have to try so hard to be approved and liked.

I thank you for being considered a failure,

so I do not have to give my life trying to pretend I’m a success.

I thank you for being wrong

by the standards of religion and state,

so I do not have to be right anywhere, even in my own mind.

There is death in sin but we find life in Christ's sacrifice for us and we find joy in the Eurcharist of remembering that sacrifice. May tomorrow be a miracle. And may it be sunny. And you eat lots of hot cross buns. And booze.

"This is my prayer in the harvest. When favour and providence flow…"

What a beautiful Sunday! It is sunny, there are no clouds and I am wearing flip flops. Beaut. I am seven days away from what I am convinced is going to be a magical Easter Sunday.

I have officially experienced what moving should looked like. Yesterday morning moving friends of ours up two floors in their building was like a well oiled machine. We arrived, groggy and with coffee in hand, at 10 o'clock am and by quarter after one we were wandering around the place saying, "wanna open some chips?"

Then, as I mentioned, Moozh and I went to a Russian end of term dinner.

And it was awful.

The restaurant was a little overwhelmed, I'd say. Apparently their head chef was "away". So Moozh and I each ordered Borscht and it took -count it- an hour and fifteen minutes. The music was way too loud. There were some very obnoxious, and drunk, people there. Then, the transfer we had to take home never arrived and so we had to take a cab. But then we woke up this morning and it was all over. And I got 92% on my exam so this is an exercise in forgive and forget.

We checked out this beautiful church this morning that kind of has my heart. It's on the UBC campus in one of the libraries. We cleaned through the house today, the whole thing, and even though it's miniature sized, it took us eight hours. And we cleaned the weird spots, like the ledge where the cabinet door meets the rest of the cabinet and the inside of the radiator. Places no one will see. I will sleep and dream of dust. And weird rust drips.

And today was the two year anniversary of the day Moozh and I got engaged! And it's the beginning of Holy Week! And the sun was out AGAIN today! Altogether not bad.
This was us back then. Moozh lookin' smokin' and me wearing a turban. Typical.

And this is us now: 

What a goomba, hey? This was rather disjointed. But I'm icing my back and that makes typing, and…thinking, difficult. I'm also watching "The Kennedys" and Rosie Kennedy is melting my brain. 

Happy SPRING!

P.S ~ I am on a mission of discovery this week. We found a diamond in the rough for produce a couple weeks back. Gorgeous fruit and veg for less than what I would have to take out a student loan. And then I found a twin for bulk! Bankybear has been withholding from me. There is more out there to discover. Tally ho! 

"I don't need to get steady. I know just how it feels. Tellin' you to get ready…"

My sister in law is officially a big kid and graduates from her program in 18 days. Which blows my head right off my body (And as my Dad used to say when I would flip out as a kid, "little tiny pieces of Brianne all over the ceiling.") It makes me think of when I graduate and how freaky and monumental and somehow simultaneously anticlimactic. Which also makes me think of WHAT WILL I DO THEN? I'm going to graduate with a BFA which is the most useless degree ever. It's a fun degree that does not necessarily get you a fun job. I may end up typing up abnormal medical results in a yellow lit office the size of Harry Potter's bedroom somewhere , "gat-ah-gat-ah-gah-ah", all day long. Or there is always a clicky pen tester.

Basically, I am prematurely stressing out. Which is so unlike me...

And so I've been surfing, because that is simply what happens to my brain when I have a lot to do. It gets up from it's proverbial desk and puts on a sombrero. And when that happens, I am subject to it's whims. It makes me read blogs and watch the Food Network. It MAKES ME DO IT! I came across a food blog (NO WAY!) and this beautiful vegan lady, Oh She Glows, posted something about "graduation fears". It's a beautiful way of articulating that if you get to the end of your education and realize, "Oh crap", that it is not the end of your life. It is something we all inherently know, deep down in the part of us that still dreams even though we step on it and throw garbage at it, that our education is not who we are and that we can always course correct, we can always choose a new way.
*She also makes kick ass blondies.

Easter is coming. And I wish you could see my face right now because I am so serious. (And I am having a weird hair day.) I am so gleefully excited for hot cross buns and sunshine (Bankybear better not cheap out on that this year. IT HAS TO BE SUNNY). Matt and I might go away to Whistler that day and just spend a day. At first I wanted to plan a big thing where people come to our house and I cook and it would be all brunchy and fun. And then I stopped being excited about Easter. So I nixed that idea and now I am back to being excited. My Gram was with us last year and it was so nice and low key. My hot cross buns were less than stellar. Even in the picture they look kind of like tires. Smother them with enough butter and jam and they taste fine, but this year, THIS YEAR, they will be different. I have come a long way in my breadmaking since then.
All I can tell you for sure about Easter Sunday is I'm having a beer. Longest 40 days of my life. I'm kidding of course. It hasn't actually been that hard (SERIOUS!) but I will definitely enjoy the first imbibing.

Beautiful
LemkaB at Etsy

Look at the cute buttons! klardar from Etsy

These are the colours of my kitchen
LynnCardwellPottery at Etsy

Do these earrings come with her face? If so, I will take them.
TribalStyle at Etsy

Happy Wednesday! Friday's not that far away.

P.S ~ Sister-in-law in Russky is za-lov-ka, which I think sounds nice for my 'love sisters'.
P.P.S ~ I just found out that my favourite restaurant in Cowtown, The Coup, has a cookbook. Which means I need it. Basically. I love it when restaurants put out cookbooks because then I feel like I could tip myself after I feed myself.

"Stepping forward, keep us from just singing…"

I'm in the home stretch now. A lot of major projects worth many marks have been handed in. Yesterday I had my Russian oral exam. It was hilarious and ridiculous and we got 95% but through the whole process I was thinking about actually being able to speak Russian one day instead of agonizing over memorizing a script where I say things as difficult as "What will I do if I don't buy razors?"I will get there eventually. I'm taking a Conversational Russian class next year where there will be native speakers present. I will have to make time to take breaks and cry during it but I think that class will be really good for me. 

I'm still waiting for the sun to come out. Bankybear is soggy everywhere. Everywhere you go the grass is like 'Screw this. I'm just not thirsty anymore.' Which is pretty much the feeling of everyone in the Lower Mainland.

My heart is heavy for my best friend right now. She just returned from six weeks in India where she was working in a hospice. She was volunteering at the Mother Theresa House of the Destitute and the Dying. While she was there her Oma passed away. I remember the process of saying goodbye to my Grandpa when he was sick and how agonizing it was to not be there at every moment. This past Sunday I heard this worship song for the first time and it makes me think so much of my best friend and her sense of obedience to where Christ leads her. She lives to "feed the hungry, stand beside the broken" as the song says. This past Sunday, the pastor said something that seems to sum up why I love Easter and Lent season. It was something to the effect of there is death in sin, we find life in the sacrifice of Christ and we find joy in the Eucharist of remembering that sacrifice. As impossible the process of saying goodbye to them seems, they wait there for us. Where they are is better than here. 

 God of justice, Saviour to all

Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken, we must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action, we must go

To act justly every day
Loving mercy in every way
Walking humbly before You, God

You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out, Lord

It's April! 74 days until Trotta-P'ron! 91 days until Bauer-Dempsey! Summer is awesome. I want to buy short overalls and creamsicles. Those always make me think of summer. Although I don't know if I could wear short overalls without my family making fun of me endlessly. Maybe jelly sandals, the most uncomfortable shoes ever?

What makes you think of summer?

"Until you kissed my lips and you saved me…"

Okay so major meltdown averted. There is something not just a little irrational about my mental process in the morning. Proviso: I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. I know this. I have known this for a long time. But there is something unsustainable about getting to school and already being, as my grandmother would describe it, a state. Today was my registration day for summer school and I was READY. I had flow charts, and registered worklists and price per credit hour and all that crap. Moozh would be proud of me. So would my mom. I was ready to kick ass and take names AND register for classes. And then 8am arrived and she was like, "I don't think so" with the ghetto-style shaky fingers and pursed lips, "I'm gon' make you crazy." And she did and Moozh said "Whoa" and I went to school and now I am here, writing about it, feeling rather foolish about it all.

So in summary, I am registered for classes and I get to go to weddings, and suntan on Kits beach and generally party like it's 1999.

P.S ~ I'm still doing Lent. I know.

Linkies:

I loooove her eye for detail. I will learn how to do this.

Marita Bliss

I am going to make this salad. Duh-lish.

It's that site I never stop talking about!
Salad Pride!

I think I just might make this too. Because I'm not off sugar.

Mmmm Smitten Kitchen you speak my language. 

I wish I could dress like this and not feel like people think I'm a douchebag.

Steampunk Couture

Happy Belated-International Women's Day!

"Watched it pour as I touched your face…"

One of the most bizarre details about college life is that wherever you go, at whatever time, which whoever in attendance it will always smell like a combination of popcorn butter and pizza grease with a hint of dirty socks.

I am better. I am so much better than I actually went running in the rain this morning. I KNOW! I was not only up and running but I was in the rain at 730. And that's a.m folks. I know you're going to say, "Girl, (because you're Mary J. Blige, obviously), you just got better. Why are you running in 'I would love to get sick' weather?"But my Arc'teryx jacket, after long being ignored since I got a pretty umbrella that makes me feel like an extra from My Fair Lady, performed like only Arc'teryx can. I was the only one out and it was so calm and quiet. It was beautiful and so worth it. And on top of that, I was on time for my class. Boom.

I had a dream while I was sick that I had a beard. And I was all verklempt, in my dream, because I am usually so tidy and…maintained. And then Matt told me it was alright and I looked great. And then Beej and Megs came over and I noticed that they had beards too! So everything was fine. And then I woke up and realized that it was not fine. And that is officially Moozh's favourite story to tell about me now. That and when I yelled at him about cutlery in my sleep. Being sick is SO DANGEROUS.

Happy Ash Wednesday, btw. And Mardi Gras is also coming up. Got to celebrate! Except no.
Did you know that the ashes that are crossed on the foreheads on Ash Wednesday are from the burned palms from Palm Sunday the previous year. I did not know that. And Wikipedia could be lying to me but that would be so unlike it. **Like how I regarded 'foreheads' as if they are an independent thing. That is called personification. Or crazy talk.

So, as I mentioned, I am fasting from Alcohol with a capital "A" for Lent. Both Moozh and I. Which I will last longer than he will fer sure. The man just loves him some scotch. But I also love to drink gin and tonic by intravenous and be silly. Especially while I'm watching 30 Rock. And 30 Rock is tomorrow.

Right in time for Lent, I found this fabulous new site. (Fabulous. What a hilarious word.) I found it on Bloglovin' and The Kitchn within a day of each other too which means it's a big deal. It's called SaladPride (no rainbows, however) and it is pretty much what it says it is: Just a gallery of pretty, yummy, pretty yummy salads. I love salad (Otherwise my lifestyle choice would be a little dumb. Can't live on potato chips, at least I wouldn't advise it.) but I find it hard to come up with new salads. And if Moozh is going to eat salad, it has to blow his friggin' doors off. But this site has those kind of salads! Go there! She puts potatoes on salad. And couscous!

Happy fasting!

P.S ~ I already have a "Lent" tag in my labels from when I wrote about it last year which was probably something self righteous and silly. Fasting from negativity, psssh. Now I have REAL things to fast from :)

Food Anxiety

Second day, second try of juice fasting.

I hate being cold. I hate how when you deprive yourself of solid food you get cold. But fasting has taken on a new meaning in my life. I remember when I deprived myself of food for too long in an effort to please myself and the impossible standards I had absorbed into my mind. It is still a standard, as consistently as I reason myself out of it and as irrational as I know it is, I still butt up against it on nearly a daily basis. I remember the shaky hands, the chills that swallowed up my fingers and the tip of my nose, the feelings that I'm experiencing right now.

But in this space, I am turning my gaze upwards, and into myself. It's not just a gaze that grazes the top of me and criticizes. It is one that permeates my heart, a heart that I have long mistreated, finding the weaknesses and sins within it and looking to the only authority of eternal meaning in my life. It is a reflection, an apology for what I have failed to do and what I don't want to do though I know it is good for me. I get the whole you take out food as nourishment in your life and replace it with nourishment from spending time in prayer and in the word. But this is my 'a-ha' moment where I realize that in doing this I am not supposed to forget my hunger or look to prayer to fill that sensation but I am only experiencing now how a bond with prayer and the word can put you so at peace that the peace you are experiencing becomes your purpose, and your focus. What I have said is convoluted but it's amazing how many times I have taken part in this and that this never occurred to me, it never made sense to me. Anyways, I am full of yummy bolthouse juice and I am loving my husband, who is doing it too. We're reading through The Purpose Driven Life because, I mean, I think we're the only Christians on the planet who haven't. But yesterdays entry was 'It's not about you'. He's very adamant that you only read one chapter a day and really think about it. At first, I was thinking, 'I won't end up thinking about it if I have a whole day'. But I actually have. In all of the aspects of our lives that we make it about us. At work, when I'm frustrated and I make the point about me being frustrated. Simple, little silly stuff like that.

"And now we're all here in God's presence, ready to listen to whatever the Master put in your heart to tell us."

Acts 10: 33

Oh yeah and I basically can't enter a grocery store without having an embolism anymore. Matt and I watched The Cove, which is about Dolphin treatment within the whaling industry and the treatment and 'harvest' of Dolphins for shows like SeaWorld and aquariums. It's...so gross. We watched Food Inc a couple of weeks ago and ever since I can't eat anything with corn in it...without thinking Monsanto is coming to get me! Skippy peanut butter is forever ruined for me. We also have this other rental called, Flow: For the Love of Water, which is about the global water crisis. I'm afraid to watch it because...I need water to live. It's making think about my food and grocery choices far more carefully but it's also making me paranoid about food. I have 'tin foil hat' tendencies within me anyway so to compound that with factual information (though undoubtedly biased of course) send me into a tail spin. We all need to be educated about stuff like that: where our food comes from, how it was grown, etc. And what it'll do to our bodies. Did you know your body can't fully digest corn because the chemical makeup of the corn is too close to that of a human cell? It's because our generation has 1% more corn in our genetics that our parents. Because it's in peanut butter, batteries, juice. It is fed to what feeds us. Where cows ever meant to eat corn. No! Waaaaaah! Here I go, down the bunny hole....

On a decidedly different note, I had a dream the other night that Matt and I lived in a neighborhood called Show Business. How fun is that?

Contains strawberry flavored pieces...

Wowowowowow, I serve a brilliant Jesus.

My mom and I have been emailing back and forth and she shared with me such a brilliant passage from her devotions. These words are a balm to a people pleaser's heart who is

misguided and held hostage in their own heart by the opinions of other people (and usually not the people the Lord has placed in your life to build you up).

"Self-disgust is lifeless and loveless." So often I get swallowed up by the dread and dissatisfaction in myself that I begin to dissect and nitpick at myself. I bring it all to God, so teary eyed and broken, feeling useless and forgettable. And then I realize when I talk to him

about it, I am his creation, he created me in his image, he carved me by hand. My sister often makes things for me, pottery, jewelry, clothing, and each time she does I marvel at not only her talent but that she made if for me. Would I ever hold it up in front of her and say, 'Yeah I guess it's nice. I'll take it. But I don't like the color or how this side doesn't match the other.' Never!

And not just out of politeness. I always prize it and put it out on display. God gave me a body that works flawlessly. A body that runs for miles everyday, that creates stories and dreams, that can breathe and get up out of bed all on it's own. He has blessed me with a vibrant life.

In giving up negative thoughts for Lent, I want to try and break the stronghold that it has over my life. I have failed many times already but so often, when I do catch myself, it sets a certain calm to choose to believe the best, or choose to see the best in myself. Instead of saying, 'I could have done better on this' or 'why didn't I do better', to say 'I did this really well' or

'I am absolutely capable of that', it begins to unravel something in me. It breaks down a cage around me, so I can see out a bit more. I have taken my own voice away, a voice that the Lord

so desperately wants to hear and hear confidence.

And it has my favorite verse in it! 'Keep your heart with all diligence..." Keep it, and not to just hide it away.

"May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face shine upon you." Keep is to treasure and to nurture. Above all else, guard you heart for from it flow the springs of life." Amen!

I am sitting staring at a cereal box that 'contains strawberries and strawberry flavored pieces'. I'm not sure how I feel about that. 'Contains' makes me think of a warning label and the 'flavored pieces' isn't much

of a selling point for me. But it's still in my cupboard so it worked well enough.

And I totally want to make this! It's an ottoman, and who doesn't love an ottoman, especially when it's crocheted. Really popular in Norway, go figure! There's a crocheted version too but I think the knitted one would be easiest. The image comes from Apartment Therapy which I am absolutely addicted to. I pretty much add it into conversations even when it's not appropriate. "'Your total comes to $4.14. Have you ever checked out Apartment Therapy?". Our Alice chair in our living room needs a crazy footstool to go with it. Can't you just see it?!

Lentil

So I realized that I totally missed Ash Wednesday. That's what happens when you're not going to church and you also never look at a calendar. Hmm.

I'm not one of those people who feels that when Lent comes around YOU HAVE TO GIVE SOMETHING UP. IT'S WHAT YOU DO. But last night, Matt and I went to church and the pastor was preaching about how to we, in our actions, say yes and no to what the Lord calls us to. And I think that Lent is one of the ways that I can say 'no' to what I feel keeps me from him and keeps me selfish and feeling bad about myself.

I want to give up negativity for Lent. It sounds totally hokey whenever I say it but that's what I want to make a point between the Lord and I that I want to give up those thoughts. I don't want those thoughts towards myself, towards other people, or towards the opportunities that the Lord puts in my life.

In my WS class we're talking about consumer culture. There is a site called about-face.org and they organize ads and music videos into 'offenders' and 'winners' in the battle of women's body issues. I love this one. People magazine, who knew?

Who gets to decide who's beautiful? Who decides what is of value? I tear up every time I think about my best friend and how friggin' inspirational she is.
"I love the way I look. I honest to God, LOVE the way I look".
I want to raise my daughters with that. I want to embody that for them. I want to honor the body that God gave that works flawlessly and who gave me a husband who loves every inch of me even on my gross days.

5 weeks until Easter!