Love is a temple, love is higher law...

May day! I just found out that 'May' is named after the Greek goddess of fertility, Maia, with May being associated with Spring and renewal. Growing up in Calgary, where the ground doesn't thaw until long after the May long weekend, I never really understood why. But after an hour long walk through habitat preservation in short shorts and flip flops, now I do. And Georgia O'Keefe seemed an appropriate addition here.

Matt and I just came off a week long fast from media, booze, wheat and sugar. (And when I say 'just', I mean about a week ago we finished and we've been filling in the extra time with TV and beer.) We took the time to work through the Purpose Driven Life (because I think we're the only Christians alive who haven't read 'the most successful Christian book of all time!') and this book called the Assertiveness Workbook. It was really cool to shut out certain things and really immerse ourselves in prayer and journalling, things that we always say we wish we did more of but were always distracted by other things...like beer. And watching TV for free!

Anyways, the Assertiveness Book was crazy helpful. It helps you to really identify what keeps you from being assertive, if that's something you struggle with. And since we read it, looking around, most people do. It starts really cool conversations with people too. It has made me far more patient with certain people that I was really struggling with. To understand, in the same way that I mismanage my feelings and frustrations sometimes, they do as well it just manifests itself in a different way in their personality.

And in regards to 'I want to work on a farm', I found the coolest organization! WWOOF, World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms, is an organization that will link people who want to volunteer on organic farms or smallholdings with people who are looking for volunteer help. The volunteers don't pay any room or board and they then volunteer for them. I found it on We Like it Raw and found this gorgeous and very delightful video on Hawaiian Kava. "...breath it in so you have the smell of the land in your nostrils and in your being... lift it above the point of your manifestation and acknowledge your intention."

And on the fun side, I wanted to put together a list of my top ten 'repeatable' songs. These are the ones that just don't cut it listening to it just once. In no particular order:

1. Anthem by Emancipator: My sissy lovely just told me about these people and they are sooo cool. It totally would be Arielle who would tell me about it, her kind of music, but it is chill music that makes your creativity come alive and wander.

2. One Love by U2 and Mary J. Blige: When I was merch bitchin' with Rik and MJ, I remember MJ putting this song on as we were coursing through the Rockies. Such talent coming together in such a cool way.

3. Ghostwriter by RJD2: When we're closing at Bub's-Granny-Buns sometimes we'll just put this song on repeat and bliss out while we're doing monotonous stuff like polishing glass and counting croissants. Makes it seem fun.

4. Pretty Lies by The Dudes: I discovered The Dudes when I was painting last summer and being totally blown away by the fact that they are not only Albertan, but totally awesome. He's got the greatest voice...

5. El Tango de Roxanne from the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack: This is a brilliant soundtrack and despite the fervency and lack of temperance of certain drama kids at a certain point in time, this soundtrack will never fail to capture me. It's like Emancipator, makes my creativity wander.

6. Doubting Thomas by Nickel Creek: This is my favorite song. Ever. It supercedes any other song I've ever heard for meaning. I remember Matt listening to this song and saying it 'landed repeatedly on the anvil of his soul'. And so I married him.

7. Disease by Matchbox Twenty: Seems a strange follow up to Nickel Creek but 'hell on wheels in a black dress' makes it for me. I listen for that line alone.

8. Out of the Woods by Nickel Creek: I know, repeat offenders but I'm still putting them on here because I do what I want. The harmonies these people produce give me shivers and this song takes me back to Early 2007. And I'm not going to put 'You are Loved' by Josh Groban on here. I'm just not.

9. Beau Sommeil by Rik Leaf: This is so hauntingly beautiful and meaningful to me.

10. You're a God by Vertical Horizon: "Still learning things I oughtta know by now..." This song has been a favorite since I was in elementary school, hilariously enough. So it MUST be a good song if it has lasted in my strange mind since then.

You know, like the Buried Life!

Brilliant, lovely Lacey wrote this in a communal diary at a coffee shop and it stuck in my head and did a cool little dance.

"don't be anyone's slogan 'cause you are poetry"

I have begun formulating a list of life dreams. It is essentially a bucket list but I'm not exactly sure why I don't like calling it that. I think it is because of that fact that I serve a God who won't take me a second earlier or later than he planned. I don't want to dream with the end in mind. I want to dream. Period.

~I want to work on a farm. When Matt and I were in Maui, Lahaina had quite a few of these rad restaurants that had their own farm up on the volcano. They prepared and served only local food, farmed themselves, and served fish they caught that day. I love the idea of being part of a movement that nurtures the earth and our bodies. The fact that we've come to a place where we can get tomatoes at any time of the year but that they really don't taste like real tomatoes at all, really scares me.

~I want to ride on an elephant or a camel. I stole this one from my mom. She showed me her list when I was about 13 and the thought of riding an elephant or a camel took hold of my mind and captured my imagination. I will most definitely sing "Prince Ali" while I'm doing it. Guaranteed.

~I want to see the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. I want to see Jerusalem period but the Wailing Wall is such a beautiful image to me. It is a very physical surrendering of your prayers and your worries to God. The Jewish faith is so rich and layered and the little boys with their funny Hasidic haircuts! Seriously adorable.

~I want to march in a protest. I want it to be a protest that matters to me obviously but I want to be part of a demonstration of my liberty. There are so many marches that occur for many different reasons that I just need to get off my butt and do. Like the Take Back the Night march to end domestic violence. Or the Stolen Sisters march. Women's Studies always makes me a little uppity but I can tell it is because those issues tug at a very real place within me. It's not just about women, it's about people and how we live in our world. Different races, classes, histories. I live in a country that guarantees me the right to protest and have a voice. Lacey and I protested once but we protested outside City Hall on a Sunday so no one was there. And then we walked to the library.

~I want to assist a midwife. Lacey and Matt would get this because we watched it on The Buried Life! Which is a totally rad show if you're looking for something to watch FOR FREE, ONLINE! (It's the newest excitement). I want to give birth at home but I would also love to be part of that experience with someone else. And I have come a long way from my first experience as a labour coach thank you very much and if we could leave those stories in the realm of 'when I was seventeen...' that would be considerably less embarrassing.

~ I want to grow a garden on a window sill. This is reflective of my urban obsession. Or I'm sure this could also be construed as an obsession to nurture things. Hmmm. I like our little apartment and our big windows and the retro window sills. And I get more and more aggressive when I think about grocery stores the more I watch crazy movies that make me feelguilty.

~ I want to learn how to longboard. The kind on wheels and the kind on the ocean. It looks so fun to stand on a huge surfboard and paddle along. I think the wheel kind may be more attainable at the moment but Vic and Van have waterfronts. And I always see spandexed people out there, way out in the ocean. What are they doing, you ask? Maybe longboarding. Or doing sea research (umm...I guess). Or drowning.

~ I want to do a triathalon. I think it would be such a cool thing to work towards and actually accomplish. I don't need or want to compete. How I do in it isn't important to me (and kind of scares me actually) but I think to do something like that would be such a rush.

~ Guerilla knit or crochet. Make a little hat or something for the numerous commemorative statues that pepper downtown. Queen Victoria is just asking for a sceptre cozy. Ahaha, so fun!

~ I want to sit for hours with my feet in the ocean and write. I want to allow myself to be inspired by my surroundings and by my world. Last year, I sat in Fish Creek park and that where I wrote a lot of the things for my portfolio into UVIC. Sitting alone while the wind combed through and sculpted the long grass was an incredible feeling. It made me feel small but it made me aware of the powerful world that hosts me.

I want to constantly add to this but Lacey and I talked about how you need to have some big things but small things that you can do in the meantime.

"See mother, I make all things new."

Happy Easter! I hope everyone's Easter was preferable :)

My first Easter as a married, creating and loving every minute of the traditions my hubby and I make together. And how cute it our little Easter Bunny!

It was quite the nutty weekend in Victoria. A huge storm blew in on Friday morning. Many of

the ferries were delayed or even cancelled. Sleety, cold rain. Trees blew apart. And the Easter Bunny rose anyway.

Despite the gross weather, we celebrated the Easter I love so much. Mom and Cami called WAY too early but I was nice to hear their message. They called after bawling through the Hallelujah Chorus just before we did. We sat in peace with our respective mugs of coffee while the hot cross buns baked. I missed the 'add-ingredient beep' on my dough setting so they are essentially hot cross swirls with the fruit swirled in like Cinnamon Buns. No cross only because I find Venetian Cream totally gross and I only had so much improvisational genius in me at eight o'clock in the morning.

I've had so many wonderful people lately to have beautiful conversations about Jesus! I like this! I think Van will be such a great move for us because we already have a church community that we're so excited to become a part of.

We went for a spirited (aka blustery) walk downtown to Silk Road for some tea but we really only ended up smelling their bath salts a little too deeply and I wandered around, elbows tucked, at the prospect of knocking precious tea paraphernalia onto the floor. But oh the teapots. They speakah my language! And while we were doing this my man got his ears pierced! He wants to stretch them and put in plugs but until then he's soakin' them in salt water for the next eight weeks.

G'ma reminded us of the story where G'pa showed up at Church with a beard and after someone asked him

about it he said that his wife was growing a beard on his face. I think there's a bit of this in Matt's posts but I think think they look muy sexy. It also temporarily satisfies my desire to have a new piercing when I don't know what I want.

The three of us on Easter Sunday night, took communion together, Matt made a wonderful Thai rice wrapper meal and then we watched the Passion of the Christ. Oh my. Oh my, is all. While there are aspects to the movie that aren't maybe my thing, I think it is a breathtaking portrayal of truly what Christ did for us. Every time one of the Roman guards would spit in Christ' face, I couldn't help but realize that he had them in mind when he died for the sins of man. I was reading a bit about the movie and it is said to be very pro-Catholic, ala Mr. Gibson, which is partly because of the films emphasis on Mary. That, I think, is one of the coolest parts for me. When Christ is carrying his cross to Golgotha, and Mary is trying to get to a place where she get to him and there are the two scenes of her seeing Jesus fall as a boy and then seeing him there, falling under his cross, beaten and broken. I think when we talk about Mary in regards to Christ as a man during his ministry, we tend to forget that Jesus was Mary's son, in the sense that she gave birth to him and raised him. My G'ma told me about a speaker she heard who said that as any parent would understand the 'mother bear' kind of reflex that flares up when one of your children are hurt. Don't you think Mary would have done something to stop his pain if she could have. But Mary understood the plan. She understood what needed to happen. Ever since the Red Tent, I've loved the beauty of finding strength in the strong women of the Bible and to seek out and understand their stories.

*We also watched this video when G'ma was here. Love this movie. And Rob Bell is a very long person.

The birds and bees are our disease contracted collectively...

I addicted to crazy information. Documentaries have to be my favorite movies right now. And the trend seems to prove, not uplifting documentaries. BUT because I know this entry will kind of get off the rails pretty quick, this look holy smokes adorable. And so wonderful!

My fiction teacher was saying today that in the past twenty or so years, fiction and fiction reading has declined. It's not only the onset of 'screens', like televisions and computer screens. Many studies have looked into this and one of the theories is that is has been since 9/11. It comes out of fixation, like a car accident. It's the thought that there are so many horrific, real and far more tangible things happening in the 'real world', why would I need a

book, a piece of fiction to take me to a place of fixation, to capture my attention. Non fiction has risen in popularity as fiction has declined. It's interesting because a lot of the people I know, when things get cruddy, they want to escape. They find the most entrancing kind of fiction, that will temporarily relieve them of their preoccupation with something they can't ignore. And I am part of that trend. Film, books, magazines, blogs. I am interested in the people interacting with this world as I am. It's the feeling that we are not alone in the big, magnanimous cruddiness. We are not alone in witnessing suffering, in desiring change and in seeking fulfillment.

Umm...Blab.

Anyhoo, the most recent residents of my dvd player were Captalism: A Love Story and Addicted to Plastic. I remember seeing Addicted to Plastic on the shelf in Blockbuster and feeling depressed already. And so my husband, feeling the same voyeuristic masochism as me, brought it home. After I had spent six straight hours immersed in a renaissance literature essay. It's the end of semester, aka Boob Tube Rescue.

Ever since the huge BPA-scare when I was in high school, I have forever eyed plastic of any recyclable and otherwise distinguishable variety with a severe sense of paranoia. I silently consign myself to a slow death every time I heat anything in plastic and I can't use our microwave anymore. I should also add a disclaimer to this diatribe that I am a self-identified obsessive personality. (Which is kind of like saying I am a self-identified hypochondriac but at least it's self-identified). So needless to say this Addicted to Plastic movie made me feel nervous. I found this movie to be slightly more feel-good than a lot of other movies, like say The World According to Monsanto which was like a dash through court cases and autopsy reports with tin-foil hats. AtP made an effort to identify the truly pervasive problem that plastic poses to the environment, wildlife, food sources and humans but it spent equally as much time on what was being done about it. Did you know that Denmark has a recycling turnout of over 90%? Did you know that Canada and the US combined only recycle on 5% of their recyclable waste? That's really stupid. And did you know that we ship/sell our recyclable waste overseas so that impoverished and overpopulated countries like India can deal with it? Excuuuuse me?

Despite my tirade, this is a great movie and I found it largely unbiased.

UNLIIIIKE...Michael Moore! Capitalism: A Love Story was classic Moore. Matt actually wrote a hilarious post on his blog about the movie. The movie is not really about Capitalism at all. It's about corruption, the corruption of banks, wall street and government. But it is not about Capitalism. Moore is an obvious proponent of Socialism but using the film as proof, he doesn't seem to acknowledge Socialism as equally susceptible to corruption. Matt is on this Milton Friedman kick lately. He has a tab on his computer that links to clip after clip of Friedman debating other people in defense of the American Capitalist system. Now I am not a capitalism-can-do-no-wrong kind of person. I think it's a flawed system just like everything else because it relies on humans, who are inherently flawed. But Friedman makes a good point. Moore goes so far in his movie as to interview bishops and priests as to their opinions of capitalism and for them to denounce it as sinful. It's a wonder most people look at Christians as fanatical kooks.

What I think both of these films bring up, however, is that as residents of this earth, we have this expectation that our systems and our world should be able to function and continue regardless of what we do to them, and they should do it flawless and without consequence. We want to be able to check out so that we can 'fulfill all of our desires for our life'. Which makes me think of that part in Wall-E when we see all of the humans on the ship hundreds of years in the future. I don't want to be like that. Doesn't seem fun at all actually.

On a fun note! *Because blogs like this always need fun notes. Tomorrow is Good Friday!

She's almost here... :)