Toodle Loo Bankybear

So my new blogosphere of devotion is SheWrites. Their tagline is "A Room of Her Own Just got Bigger" which makes me want to die it's so genius. I've been trying to figure out how to 'bust out' my blogging if you will. I'm not a genius photographer (not that I couldn't become one), I'm not a proficient chef (see reason #1), I don't enjoy posting pictures of my outfits online (though maybe one day?) and I don't get a kick out of blogging about other people's outfits. I don't plan weddings, or deliver babies, or craft my day away making custom camera straps or pants for children 4-10. I write. And I want to write well.

On my portfolio site (which is in desperate need of a facelift) I want my blog to be reflective of who I am as a writer. Here I can swear, and talk about my marriage. I can post links to cute baby pictures or hilarious YouTube vids. There I want to grow as a writer and make a point of exercising my ability in different forms. One of my creative writing classes next semester is writing for new media which looks at blogging and similar new forms. I want to take this next period of time to really become familiar with it.

Which is why I'm so excited about SheWrites. Like NaBloPoMo, it's a site that is a support to writers and to bloggers. And because they quote Virginia Woolf, they are fun, feministy types.

Hopefully, this site can help me to articulate better what kind of writer I want to be. I know why kind of writer I don't want to be but as G.K Chesterton says, you end up standing for nothing.

This is from SheWrites. May this be a fruitful union.

Literary Love Affair

When I first began to read, it was everything from Bailey School Kids Mysteries to Black Beauty and Little Women. I read Number the Stars and Under the Quilt of Night and they opened my eyes to the possibility, tragedy and fascination that the world held. I went through a lengthy "cute animal centred mystery" phase.

When I first began to write, I had books like I am David and The Giver on my mind. I began to write very young and while I can't necessarily stand by my writings of the 'old days'. I wanted to travel to distant places and my imagination could take me there.

When I first began to raid my mother's bookshelves, I read The Red Tent in junior high and it blew my mind. I think I read through the entire Old Testament that summer.

When I first began to have my bookshelves stocked by English professors, it was Margaret Atwood, Alice Monroe, and Sylvia Plath. I read Faulkner, Twain and Adrienne Rich. I read Aristotle, Anne Sexton, and Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

When I fell in love with poetry, it was Margaret Atwood, Carol Ann Duffy, and Anne Sexton.

When I fell in love with the short story, Alice Monroe, Flannery O'Connor and Tim O'Brien.

I can't remember when I didn't love the novel. Lately it's been Audrey Niffenigger, Mary Shelley (Frankenstein actually scared me when I read it), and C.S Lewis.

Over the years my writing teachers, Dale Wallace, Bill Gaston, Carla Funk, Joan McDonald and John Gould. The introduced me to writers that I couldn't help but find. John Vailant, Leonard Cohen, Martin Amos and I, Claudia.

Music hijacks my mind. I've been listening to The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford soundtrack lately and my fingers just fluttery. It pulls me into a different space. Explosions in the Sky does the same. Mind. Blown.

My friends Ginny Monaco, Jenica Chuahiock and Kirsti Doggart remind me that I'm a writer, even when I don't write. (My mom and dad do that, too.) We sit around our workshop and ooze what makes us passionate and simultaneously ecstatic about writing.

Who inspired you to write? Who inspires you now? Tell us the story of your literary love affairs.

Margaret Atwood (my computer will probably know her name off by heart I talk about her so much), Susan Perkins Gilman, Eli Weizel, John Vailant, Anita Diamant and C.S Lewis.

Mmmm Christmas Holidays...

Oh the weekend was so fun. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, all the funness included. Christmas parties, carolling, OneofakindVancouver and Christmas concerts. I am officially in chill mode.

And I have links!

- Foodgawker is a great tumbler. It is part of the 'gawk universe' which enables people like me who spend way too much time on sites regarding things they don't even do. They had a link to this which is the cutest thing ever. A zebra made out of an eggplant is soo cute and would make anyone want to eat him.

- Dwellinggawker is of the same universe. I love this picture they posted. Purple couch, huge scissors and mismatched shutters. This is the stuff I like to put in my dreambook.

- It wouldn't be complete without craftgawker. I like big cowls and I like fun brooches even more.

- Track and Field, who had a booth at OneofaKind, make the cutest stuff. They sell at Paper Yah on Granville Island too I think but their pouches are so adorable.

- These guys were also at Oneofakind. The disclaimer for their site reads, "WARNING THIS SITE CONTAINS LANGUAGE THAT SOME PEOPLE WITH NO SENSE OF HUMOUR MAY FIND OFFENSIVE."

- Matt and I saw this video of these Russian kids who made a slide from hard packed snow on the chimney of their apartment building. They hook up one of their friends to a long rope, count to three, and she slides off the slide and down probably fifteen stories. She screams her head off which is hilarious, she doesn't hit the ground but swings back and forth probably thirty feet on either side on the rope that ties her to the roof. The link read "Russians be crazy." It's true. But how cute are these people?!

- Sweetest blog evar!

t-minus 5 days until we leave Bankybear for Cowtown. Matt's got his exams rapid fire and THEN the craziness ensues.

Here we go a'wassail' among the leaves so green!

I am stretching and my knees are groaning. I wonder if I go into my Russian exam tomorrow and say, "I understand Russian very poorly" what kind of mark I would get. I know it'll be grammatically perfect. Every time I talk to my teacher about the exam, she says "I know you will do great. You will have no problems." (I find I try to replicate her Russian pronunciation of English words because they are so quirky.) I feel like asking her to simply give me a mark she feels represents her faith in my ability and we can skip the whole examination thing.

Whenever I think about what I am so afraid of I kind of have to laugh at myself. Even if (EVEN IF!) I bomb the exam so hard, I fail and even if I fail the class, that sucks but it's totally not the end of the world. I won't die. My husband still loves me. God's never going to ask me in eternity about an exam that I did or didn't do as well as I expected. And he's surely never going to ask if I gave myself an stomach ulcer from anxiety over them. Get a grip! We're over it.

Christmas time is such a sensory time of year. Fuzzy socks, caramel candles, tiny jingle bells that catch your ear, downy snow (or if you're in Vancouver, green grass), and spiced apple cider. All of our Christmas presents are wrapped under the tree. Purchased and wrapped before Dec 1 even hit. We're not type-A. Headed to Cowtown for Christmas. Got my down jacket and St. Bernard on call for snow emergencies. I miss my family a bit. I had this pang a couple of weeks back for my sisters. I just wanted to hang out with them, be in their space. Blandinka's nesting right now in her cute little life and she invited Matt and I to stay with them one night. Cutest thing ever. And I'm so pumped to see Matt's family too. Just to hang out and enjoy an enjoyable holiday with everyone. And gain lots of weight!!

С Рождеством! Merry Christmas!

Nobody can showboat "Silent Night" like Mahalia Jackson

Things that make me happy about being almost done school.

- I can knit something fun for the very first time and put it on the knit blog. I kind of want to crochet Matt's christmas ornament this year. Maybe make it from some polymer clay. Last year: I wrapped a little wooden heart that said "I Love You" with yarn. This year? Oh my gosh.

- I think I will add crafting in general. I'm sewing some Christmas presents this year. I am excited because I'm pretty sure the recipients will LOVE them.

- I can open up my "Musings" file and write fun things again. This semester's creative writing marks left me feelings very low. I want to return to it with a new heart and remind myself why I love it.

- I can make myself something other than apples and peanut butter for lunch. I don't know how, in sixteen weeks of classes, I couldn't get my act together and make myself something the night before. I'm on the "stress diet" right now which means I don't eat. I am myopic to say the least and so I can literally make it eight hours, whilst fretting over SOMETHING MONUMENTAL, without giving a thought to my groaning stomach.

- Running! My feet are so sore lately, I can't figure out why. But as of tomorrow, we're back on the train.

- Hot Chocolate! If I'm running everyday I don't have to feel guilty about drinking a cup everyday right? With or without peppermint schnapps. Mmmmms.

I don't know what made me think of this but I think one of my top five favourite love songs ever is "When You Come Back Down" by Nickel Creek.

"My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire." Beaut.

Sreydah (Wednesday)

My mom sent me this email which was was more interesting than the prompt for today. T minus two days until Ground Zero.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. Agreed.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. My God, this happens in marriage all the time.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. I don't think this ever happened to me as a child.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. This is for all of the people that read incorrect tone into text messages and emails. We should not enable these people.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? You don't. You ball it up and stuff it into the bottom shelf of the linen closet. At ball them up uniformly.
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? It totally made my writing messier.
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. You do, but there is a whole demographic impervious to natural selection who don't.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. Yes! But this is directly related to #1.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. Trueness.
10. Bad decisions make good stories. And most don't let the truth get in the way of a good story.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. I know this too well. University.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. Yes. And VHS are never making a comeback.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. So true.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. We're ALL in on the joke.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. Because you can't binge on ice cream in the middle of the night without a light.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. And transit "Trip Planner!"
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? Especially if they're just making small talk. Speak up!
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. "Black pants, they never get dirty, the longer you wear them the stronger they get."
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. I do that even with my cell phone.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! It's worse when it doesn't even wake you up.
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Ladies.....proof that there's only enough blood in a man's system to operate one head at a time!) This is called "looking out for number one."

"Me, I want a hoooola-hooop!"

O....kay.

I am running to the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' right now. Friday is but a couple sleeps, being in public with bedhead and at least one more meltdown away. So close I could hit it in a burping contest. My teachers have done dangerous things like extending deadlines and making classes optional. A week from today I'll be squinting over somebody asking me who in my family usually washes the dishes. In RUSSIAN. The next day, I will be talking about which Classical Athenian tyrant said compassion is a weakness. And then finally, the very next day, when I forget that my socks don't go on the outside of my shoes and that I have to peel the orange first, I will write a research proposal and orchestrate secondary sources in an hour. Or at least I'm told I will. But by five o'clock this next Thursday, I will usher in a long awaited stint in which I never get out of my pajamas. I will sing "Christmas Don't be Late" in a style authentic to Alvin and the Chipmunks and surf The Phillip DeFranco Show until I fall asleep in a chair.

But UNTIL then! I've noticed I get really exaggerative when I get tired of something. But that's okay because that will make me a writer capable of capitalizing on my unemployment. Zing!

If you could work for anyone in your field, who would it be?

I would pretty much die if I ever met Margaret Atwood so she's probably a bad choice. I thought maybe Audrey Niffenegger but I think I'm liking her stuff less and less as I read it. I would have to say Anita Diamant because she has transformed the way I write. The Red Tent, favourite book ever. Day after Night probably second favourite book ever. (Did I mention I exaggerate?) Her books made me read through Genesis again and become morbidly obsessed with reading books concerning the Holocaust. She is die-worthy as well so I would have to get myself under control first but I would sit in awe of her Jewishness probably perpetually. Then I would tell her I didn't really like Good Harbour.

Moya Moozh idyot cmotreet televizor illi droozya

Matt sent me this halfway though my day.

This is why I love reading week.

Spent some time with the chicks of the RSN. (Chicks? Our foremothers would be so proud.) Good times. Good beer. Good ladies.

I feel that when I post transliterated Russian on my blog, I should translate it for all the people that don't speak Russian. Namely, everyone I know. "Idyot" could easily sound like...something else when it in fact mean "to go". Sorry Moozh. I've taken the blue pill. My communication skills are officially on the DL.

December slag

We're honin' in on the home stretch now. I really need some kind of push to get me through it. Every semester, I hit early November and I give in. Satisfactory marks come easy to me and my participation mark doesn't go down too much if I skip class at that point. But I don't want satisfactory marks. I don't want my marks to be less than they could be because I got tired. I need to centre myself and I need to turn to God in peace. It's no mistake that when I stop seeking him all of the other things I'm working on start to seem like they don't matter.

May I find ways to see him this week. May I find ways that I can bring him into what I'm doing and glorify him through it.

"The hands that flung the stars into the skies two cruel nails surrendered."

It snowed again! And that gave me an excuse to skip school. Yay!

Matt and I participated in the abnormally awkward Christian practice of getting together and making awkward small talk because we all checked out the same church and wanted a free meal. And then Matt and I had a snowball fight on the way home from the bus.

Christmouse is a month away today!

T-minus 5 days until I can have my singular chai eggnog of the season. I've done so well holding out. It's all downhill from here.

Noyabr

It is nearly time for the truly unfortunate moustaches to go away. The myriads of silly culturally addicted post-secondary students can shave off the attempt while carrying with them that they showed everyone that not even a month was enough to get past the translucent fuzz phase. What I find slightly ridiculous about Movember is that while the whole point in growing a moustache is to "raise awareness" for prostate cancer. I don't know a single guy with a moustache that is any more in the know about what causes it, how to check, statistics, anything. It's a glorified hipster exercise in doing it because something that you would have been made fun of for is now "cool".

It is COLD. It is funny how Vancouverites react to snow. We got a big dump on Friday night and Saturday shit went down. People lost their minds. In Calgary, it's been -35 with windchill. That is bonkers. Winters have been so weird. Last winter was so mild. A couple days before we went home for Christmas I was still running in shorts and waiting for the bus in a hoodie and jeans. And then this winter has been a pox on all our houses. Moozh is practically menopausal. I NEVER touch the thermostat because I enjoy excessive layering and big socks so much I would rather do that. But he wanders around in his unmentionables during the evenings, cracking open every window we have while I plug in the electric blanket. And then I heat up to ridiculous temperatures when we go to bed and sweat explosively. It's a weird life.

Can I say that I find handkerchiefs totally disgusting? If you're a dandy or it's just a pocket square or something along those lines, fine. But having a scrap of threadbare cloth in your pocket that you repeatedly blow your nose in and stuff BACK in your pocket. That is just disgusting.

Links Times!

- How cool are these?! I think I will definitely try and make myself some of these. They would be so cool in the summer.

- I've added another tattoo to the list. I want to get "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit" on the inside of my arm in Russian. (сын отца и Святой дух) There is some of the coolest Cyrillic typeface out there that it would be really sweet to try and incorporate some of that. I want to make sure everything is conjugated properly so I'm not one of those douchebags with a tattoo in another language that doesn't make sense. Did you know doosh in Russian means shower?

- We are entering the season of delectable albeit heavy eating where you justify eating things you would never eat the rest of the year because our saviour was born to a teenager in a barn which is of questionable sanitation and lowly to say the least and what about hay fever?! So really it deserves some recognition and I can oblige by eating absurd amount of Stollen and feeling rum has a place in every drink I consume at any time of the day. And yet despite all this, I have the hugest craving for coleslaw. I will not attempt to explain my mind.

- I go on Flickr probably daily now. Pretty pictures make me happy. Like this one. Why doesn't my breakfast look like that? Oh yeah. Ya nykogda ne zavtrakayou (I don't eat breakfast).

- I also watch the Phillip De Franco show every day. They're only four minutes long so I feel I can justify that.

T-minus 23 days until we touch down in Cowtown. Hells yes for the rhyme. My mom asked me if she could come sleep on my couch the other day so I think that means it's pretty miserable there. But Christmas makes thing happy, makes everything better. At least rum does.

Christmouse!

Casa del Dempsey has that Christmas feeling now. The garlands and boughs of holly went up last night. The first gift I ever bought Matt was a set of two HUGE Christmas baubles when I worked at Ikea. They are easily three times the size of any other decorations on our tree but our place looks so sweet now.

We finished all of our Christmas shopping this which illustrates an impressive amount of forethought on our part. It turned COLD this weekend. Dumped a huge load Friday night which made everything look magical and made every driver on the road lose their mind. That also turned out to be the day that we were helping Scott and Jo move into their new place. Fun times.

I love this commercial. I remember seeing it on when I was maybe in Junior High. Stevie Wonder and India Arie make for beautiful Christmas music. But when you watch that clip wait until the third part of the commercial. The cutest little black girl does a hilarious dance in red velvet and a white dude has his Christmas mantle timed just perfect. It is so cute you'll want to die. Love it.

One of my favourite Christmas movies is easily White Christmas. They just needed an excuse for a whole bunch of musical numbers unrelated to a plot line. They had "White Christmas" and "Count Your Blessings" kickin' around and the rest is history. Vera Ellen's legs will make you faint but my favourite scene is the one below. Reminds of my Dad when he's relaxed. The goofiness, I mean, not the cross dressing. Though he does like that too.

What's your favourite Christmas movie? Are you going to shoot your eye out? Or are you kickin' it with Oogie Boogie?

Happy Christmahannakwanzadan!

At least there will be plenty implied

This month has been a wonderful blog month. I began NaBloPoMo which has initiated a love affair and a growing respect for my blog and for habit.

1. I discovered Today's Letters, which has taken me by storm.

Emily and Tim Loerke are a couple from Dallas, Texac. Her bio makes me die it is so adorable. It reads, "Mr. Loerke and I have been married for 5 years. We like to dance in our jammers, sleep late in the biscuit, build forts, write each other love letters, and spend lots of time in the kitchen experimenting with food. We also get to ask each other for forgiveness each day. Holla." Seriously, oh my goodness. They are incredible God loving couple who love small groups, ice cream and calling the things in their life by funny names. They call their car a fart box and their bed a biscuit. AWWWWWESOME! My favourite posts (at the moment -they seriously get cuter and more awesome every day) would be their Halloween post because they drew her beard on with those smelly marker and the post where they talk about how they met and fell in love because honestly who doesn't love those stories. And the posts are back to back! They. Are. Great.

2. I love Bluebird Baby. She is a photographer out of Maine and even just the photos of her house are mesmerizing. She's a big antiques person (so is Emily Loerke actually! There's a mathematical equation here waiting to happen) but she did a reno on her kitchen that I can't get over. The open face cabinets are beauuuuuutiful. Krasivaya! She does every monday, these links pages that are so great. Get's you listening to new music, looking at new pictures, and seeing new sites. Gweat! She has the cutest little daughter who dresses herself like a total champ and she has the cutest love ever too. She has a whole category called, "I love Sasa". Ummms yes.

3. I will put Smitten Kitchen on here because I truly spend an inappropriate amount of time on food blogs. Which is crazy because I don't even really like cooking that much. Or eating. But on every blog I've ever been on in their link tab they have Smitten Kitchen listed. Everyone loves her. And she's Jewish, which means I love her. She also has a surprise me button which is every browsing web surfer's nemesis because it keeps you there longer than you ever intended to stay. But if you really wanted to invest your time in meaningful things you wouldn't be surfing the net. :) This looks delish and many a Casa del Dempsey staple in it. I want to eat far more sweet potato because I'm a tuber hound. Cheers.

Prompt!

P.S~ I've been trying to resist until December 1 but the Christmasness is working itself into my mind. I have a Christmas playlist on my iPhone now. And we got a Yankee Candle. Merry Christmas!

You know what sounds really good right now? Sleep.

Oh Vancouver.

*On a side

note, I have taken to call it Bankybear because that's how it looks in Russian (see last entry). Pretty much learning a second language has messed up my handwriting, pronunciation and spelling. I'll probably go blind in one eye soon.

Today was unusually cold. Though I know last winter came and went with the incessant qualifier, "This has been a really mild winter", holy balls why is it so cold. I'd be walking from my house to the mailbox in a balaclava if I still lived in Calgary but I WAS NOT prepared for today. My hands have that fuzzy shakiness that they get when they warm up after they get so cold you kind of can't bend them. Bummers. My adorable friend Ginny was wearing her winter jacket with fur pom poms today and she looked perfect and wintery. Made me rethink my jersey cardigan and bare head for sure. I have many an under-utilized layer because it has simply been too warm here. There was a moment today where it was warm and my clothing seemed qualified to address the weather. And that lasted for as long as it took for me to walk to the bus stop. Bankybear is similar to Cowtown in that you can never really predict what the weather is going to be like. It never corresponds to the prediction on the weather channe

l but it also never stays insufferable for long. And I am not homeless, I have lots of warm, wonderful clothes and I spend most of my days indoors. So I do not, officially, have anything to complain about.

I had the maddest craving for plum pudding today. So weird because I can never finish my portion the once or twice a year that I actually eat it. That, some mulled cider and an Alistair Simms Ebenezer makes for a perfect Christmas Eve. I have this attitude about the white sauce my dad makes to go with the pudding. The stuff that comes with it in the packaging is just too sweet so Dad always makes a plain bechemel sauce. I know exactly how he makes it. I've seen him make it a million times. And yet I will never try to make it myself. I will always wait for him. Because it's perfect and it's Christmas when he makes it.

I wonder what winters in Scotland are like? It says on the BBC that tomorrow is going to be a high of 8 C and with cloudy periods. Chances are it'll be a lot like here.

I have also decided that I am cutting my hair. This is not motivated out of rage or the numerous bad hair days I have had in the past...six months. But namely because Emma Watson just (and by just I mean about three months ago) cut all her glory of England hair off into the most incredible pixie. That tipped the scale for me. I reminded myself of the promise I made not to cut it until the New Year when Michelle Williams cut hers, when Ginnifer Goodwin cut hers, when Carey Mulligan cut hers and when I met my aforementioned adorable friend Ginny who has the cutest pixie. We all know I'm not a bandwagon jumper but it was truly exhausting resisting these pulls. I tried to remind myself of that meagre hair promise until I saw Emma Watson. And that was it. It's done. And I will finally feel like myself again. I have had someone else's haircut for about a year. I thought I wanted to grow my hair out to 'have more hair to play with'. Well that's all sh%t. Emma Watson's hair is BONKERS. It's a haircut I have had many a time before and one that I adore. I have a small head and fine hair. Probably somewhere in my blueprint it says "should wear hair preferably in a pixie cut or some variation thereof". Can't argue with genetics. So that's the plan. And just in time for it to get COLD. I have scarves (LOTS) and happiness will warm my head.

"I eat bread all day long. My anxiety, it's like a workout."

Today I will be doing no such prompt. Because it was lame. This is my blogger discretion.

Outside my window... ванкувер (Vancouver). Winter here is so different. Today had that chill that winter has.
I am thinking... about handmade Christmas presents.
I am thankful for... my warm bed and the best snuggle buddy who hangs out there with me.
From the learning rooms...(if this applies) Tomorrow I have two tests and an essay due. But I only have two weeks left. I can make it. I can.From the kitchen... pumpkin chai tea from David's Tea up the road.
I am wearing... polka dot pjs and warm knitted socks.
I am creating... my creative writing portfolio
I am going... on a search for Yankee candles. $25 is a lot for a candle but it's sooooo worth it.
I am reading... Out Town by Thorton Wilder and Kitler: 55 Fictions by John Gould
I am hoping... for Christmas music and rice pudding this weekend.
I am hearing... "I need a dollar" by Aloe Blacc. One of those free itunes downloads from S'bucks. So awesome.
Around the house... I bought myself some 8 oz mason jars. Simple minds, simple pleasures.
One of my favorite things... chai eggnogs. I have to ration these bigtime but I they are Christmas decadence in a jar. Mmm.
A few plans for the rest of the week: Get through tomorrow. Have dinner at lovely Marcus and Meghan's house on Friday. I think we'll put up our decorations on the weekend.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...two!

This time last year. Moozh and I in Victoria. It's our tourist picture.

Lacey and I at ZooLights. We got hot chocolate and I sat on a iron statue of a lion and pretty much frostbit my butt. And look at my nose!

We are yours, and yours is the kingdom

Are you spiritual, religious, agnostic, or atheist? Do you think there is one path to God, or many?

I like what G.K Chesterton says. "You can either get your head into the heavens or try and get the heavens into your head. But it is the man that tries to get the heavens into his head whose head explodes." And it's when we get caught up in the humanization of spirituality that I think it gets lost. Matt wrote a wicked and very articulate paper on the belief that what is meant by theos is become unified with God even in our mortal life, to embody his characteristics and his "likeness". It is not, as some would say, pantheism, for us to strive in this but the aim of our faith.

I find Christianity very conflicting. Matt and I are church shopping right now after being at a church that, for all the reasons we left, really helped us to clarify what we are looking for and what is important to us. And my fuse is so short on many of these things. It gets under my skin and I get really angry really fast. I find it amazing and in some cases so sad how people can believe certain things.

As for salvation, I believe that there are many paths that can lead you to encounter God, that can shake you out of who you are to see him. But I do believe that when Christ says, "It is only through me..." that he really means he is the only way. And there is peace in that. There is peace in knowing that our Saviour, who is full of grace and empowers us to live and better and more fulfilling life, that is his goal to get us there and he is willing to put all of who is he is and all of who we believe him to be into that.

I get overwhelmed talking about these things lately. If only I believed myself to be funnier, different, more captivating topics than this would be easier to write.

These things make me happy now.

• Chai eggnogs! The red mugs are back. Shits getting real.
• Plaid circle scarves. Like THIS ONE! Anything autumn coloured lately. It's mine.
• Pumpkin. I'm totally not done with it.
• This song. :)
• Shearling lined jackets. I live in mine. Live in it.
• Having a cuddle buddy every night.
• Real mail! Like handwritten, fun mail where you have your name handwritten on the front and who wrote it to you likes you.
• When people are just authentic. We went to Tenth Ave Alliance and they were just so real. The announcer (who is the church intern) was taking her time with the announcements and then she pauses, "So we're actually waiting for the worship band to get here." And from then on the night was relaxed. I wish I was more authentic at times.

P.S~ This is a great song.

So scared of getting older. I'm only good at bein' young.

What's the biggest sacrifice you've ever made for another person? Was it worth it?

My independence is easily one of the most powerful forces in my life. It is in being alone that I get recharged. It is being alone that I am most productive. It is when I am alone that I can be the most selfish. I've often been very selfish with my time with everyone in my life. I trained my friends and family growing up that leaving me alone was a necessary factor to bei

ng in relationship with me. It is only since I got married and had my heart burst wide open that I realize how unwise this is.

Giving up my independence, or more accurately, transforming my independence when I got married has been a profound change for me. Being in love and desiring to be around him all the time, I thought little of what my independence looks like. But marriage educates you in that very quickly. I missed having my own bed. I missed being able to go where I wanted to when I wanted to. But then seeing, the breath of my marriage and when it skipped along and when it sagged and heaved. Loneliness, nightly panic attacks, busy minds and heavy hearts melt away the moment we can sink into that sacred space. My husband wants me to be fulfilled and free. How independence changes in marriage is not entr

apment. Independence in marriage is not selfishness. And the personal metamorphosis that occurs in exploring these things and figuring them out is incredible.

What makes marriage, in its purest, truest form, so profound to me is the exchange of yourself for something infinitely different and complex. You are not merely yourself anymore, you are a unit. Two souls fuse. They become one in their intentions, goals and focus. Myself being nurtured is inextricably one with nurturing my partner.

We create worlds in each other and the vibrancy of marriage is dependent on that aspect. When you forget and disregard that, you negate the force that the Lord has chosen to move most in your life through. No one knows me better than my husband. There are people who have known me longer, who have seen me through stag

es but my husband is only one I give my life to.

And having independence and surrendering independence in marriage is not unified across the board. And for me it has been important to be vigilant of how I contextualize that sacrifice in my mind. I can see as it was taken or that I unwillingly, unknowingly gave it up. But then I stare those feelings in the face and I see they are created out of selfishness. For some women, keeping their name is a big deal. For me it wasn't. For some, having defined roles in the home is important. For some, gender roles are important, childhood traditions, spending habits. Each couple has their hill to die on. But it's theirs. And they do it together.

In other words, it's pretty amazing.

Cute!

I feel like they're speaking in a language I don't speak. And they're talking it to me.

What do you *really* wish you were doing right now, and how soon do you think you can make it happen?

I wish I was living overseas right now. My husband could be in Grad school, that would be awesome. St. Andrews

in Fife, Scotland, the third oldest University in the English speaking world (first and second being Oxford and Cambridge, respectively). I'm more articulate just talking about it so just think how brilliant I will become if I can rub shoulders with all those weird PhD students.

Scandinavia has really been on my mind lately. Norway, Sweden, Denmark. They is a different mind set there, I don't know how they

do it. The advances they make in gender relations, climate change, medicine, urban planning, geniuses all of them.

Vancouver has had a really profound effect on both Matt and I since we've been here and it's had a really profound effect on our marriage.

Victoria will

always be special to me and it still makes me smile to think of it and our time there but it was really useful for Matt and I to articulate what we needed as a couple and weren't getting in Vic. It is so obvious to me that the Lord has us here. In other words, I am very happy here but he made a fascinating, dynamic world and I want to see it.

I wish I was making my living off of my word (because that simply sounds so romantic I can't get over myself).

This semester has been really hard for me creatively because I hit a bit of writer's block. The

more I write the more I get the hang of it. I encountered a similar obstacle last year, struggling to write anything or find any momentum in the process, and then in the last cycle of WRIT 100, I hit it out of the friggin' park. At least I follow a similar pattern. If only I could speed up the stretching period a little. I know part of it this year is I'm just not inspired in this program. Last year, I was simply blown away by my professor. Not that my professors here are in any

way less so but at UVIC the professors seemed to this energy about writing which I haven't quite encountered here yet. But UBC is probably three times the size of UVIC so there are other factors at play. It blows my mind daily how many students actually go there.

This is from an Australian blog and it is genius. I should go to Australia too.

I wanted to include this because Calvin and Hobbes is always appropriate.

P.S ~ I also wish I was done school but I didn't really think I should include that. Seems a tad whiney.