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Friday, February 26, 2010

Away We Go





Can I just say that I love my husband more than I can rationally explain sometimes? And it's never even spurred upon by moments where he's really even trying that hard. It's when he'll kiss the back of my bedhead in the morning and hug me really tight when it's freaking early and I have to leave for school. Or that he likes it when I argue with him. When he spends time online looking for things that I might like or making weird food for me.
When I think of looking across my pillow at him, tomorrow...five years...thirty years from now, I totally cry. Every time. Because he is so much more than I ever imagined, he is so much more than I ever could have deserved had God not been all over this from the beginning. He loves me knowing all of who I am, all of my po
tential (for better and for worse). And I love him, desperately and furiously, knowing all of his.

Oh my, this is the sweetest, greatest movie I have seen in a long while. And the fact is that I passed it on numerous occasions on a movie store stroll. I so desperately wanted it to be a fun movie because it has wonderfully fun people in it (Alison Janney is my favorite...favorite?), but there are some disappointing movies out there that really display themselves to be funnier than they are. Like Adventureland.

But wow. I am at a similarly pivotal point in my life as the people in the movie but there were numerous times where Matt and I looked at each other and smiled, "I really like this movie". They have an uncommon love and it's it their own. They complement each other and while they have their 'things', they are grounded by their love. There is a point where Verona is listening to the heartbeat on her fetoscope and she is concerned about the baby's low heartbeat. Burt dives into that with her and throughout the rest of the movie, Burt forgets about all else (including any social inhibitions) and tries to get the baby's heart beat up. There is this point where Burt and Verona are laying on a trampoline talking about what they want for their daughter.
Burt: Do you promise to let our daughter be fat or skinny or any weight at all? Because we want her to be happy no matter what? Being obsessed with weight is just too cliche for our daughter?
Verona: I do. And do you promise that when she talks, you'll listen? Like really listen, especially when she's scared? And that her fights will be your fights?

Matt will hug me and rub my belly and talk about how he it's one of his favorite things about me because our children will grow there. He talks about how he wants his daughters to know that they are captivating and that they are princesses. But to know that they can and will fail.

We are still looking for our home. We will wander and we will find where the Lord will have us and the community he will have for us. I can't freakin' wait.

And in 22 days, my best friend arrives for mucho funness. Eee-yes!

Bri

Monday, February 22, 2010

Lentil

So I realized that I totally missed Ash Wednesday. That's what happens when you're not going to church and you also never look at a calendar. Hmm.

I'm not one of those people who feels that when Lent comes around YOU HAVE TO GIVE SOMETHING UP. IT'S WHAT YOU DO. But last night, Matt and I went to church and the pastor was preaching about how to we, in our actions, say yes and no to what the Lord calls us to. And I think that Lent is one of the ways that I can say 'no' to what I feel keeps me from him and keeps me selfish and feeling bad about myself.

I want to give up negativity for Lent. It sounds totally hokey whenever I say it but that's what I want to make a point between the Lord and I that I want to give up those thoughts. I don't want those thoughts towards myself, towards other people, or towards the opportunities that the Lord puts in my life.

In my WS class we're talking about consumer culture. There is a site called about-face.org and they organize ads and music videos into 'offenders' and 'winners' in the battle of women's body issues. I love this one. People magazine, who knew?

Who gets to decide who's beautiful? Who decides what is of value? I tear up every time I think about my best friend and how friggin' inspirational she is.
"I love the way I look. I honest to God, LOVE the way I look".
I want to raise my daughters with that. I want to embody that for them. I want to honor the body that God gave that works flawlessly and who gave me a husband who loves every inch of me even on my gross days.

5 weeks until Easter!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

"Above all else, guard you heart, for from it flow the springs of life." Proverbs 4:23

A new blog!
To begin, I am immersed in the first six months of my marriage. The Lord lead me through an breathtaking and uncommon courtship and love story and in this blog I want to digress upon his plans for my life.
Secondly, I have an extremely obsessive personality. At times, it is less outrageous but one of my lasting obsessions is blogs. I have been reached by blogs and I want to share my journey for the same reason. I follow many blogs that I find inspiring and I have included them on the side :)

It smells amazing outside! We have blossoms. We have blossoms in February.
I grew up in Chinook country so blossoms don't come out until around labor day, and nice weather is a transient thing that usually involves potholes, black ice and accurate traffic information.
I am ready to claw my eyes out but it smells amazing outside.

Matt and I went on a walk today in a city where everything but Starbucks and Western Union and closed on a Sunday, and were marveling at the place we live. I love living in this city. It has the feel of many cities that can't escape their environment. It is such a part of the lifestyle and the mental landscape that there is a real honor and sustainability in the way people live. Cyclists here are a force to be reckoned with and are probably more dangerous than cars. 'Organic' here is not a trendy word, it's a passion. People run. Everywhere. They walk. They cycle. They push baby strollers. People are living IN creation, not upon it.

I am surrounded my such amazing people that I can see the Lord so clearly in.
My husband is working at a job he doesn't like so that I can go to school at one of the best schools in the country. He holds me every night and prays with me and tells me how beautiful he things I am. He puts up with my grumpy moods and cares about the confusion and ambition combusting within my heart. He loves me as Christ loves his church; selflessly and relentlessly.
My little sister just turned sixteen. I can remember the first time I heard her talk about Jesus. I can also remember the first she asked what a lesbian was at the dinner table. She's a great, great kid who is destined for huge, huge things.
My best friend works night shift at the Mustard Seed in Calgary and she is God's Love personified. They just got a huge donation to 'Arise and Build'. I get shivers every time I think about it and what a blessing it is to the guests at the Seed and the people who work there.

I am blessed. Simply.

Bri