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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

"Me, I want a hoooola-hooop!"

O....kay.

I am running to the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' right now. Friday is but a couple sleeps, being in public with bedhead and at least one more meltdown away. So close I could hit it in a burping contest. My teachers have done dangerous things like extending deadlines and making classes optional. A week from today I'll be squinting over somebody asking me who in my family usually washes the dishes. In RUSSIAN. The next day, I will be talking about which Classical Athenian tyrant said compassion is a weakness. And then finally, the very next day, when I forget that my socks don't go on the outside of my shoes and that I have to peel the orange first, I will write a research proposal and orchestrate secondary sources in an hour. Or at least I'm told I will. But by five o'clock this next Thursday, I will usher in a long awaited stint in which I never get out of my pajamas. I will sing "Christmas Don't be Late" in a style authentic to Alvin and the Chipmunks and surf The Phillip DeFranco Show until I fall asleep in a chair.

But UNTIL then! I've noticed I get really exaggerative when I get tired of something. But that's okay because that will make me a writer capable of capitalizing on my unemployment. Zing!

If you could work for anyone in your field, who would it be?

I would pretty much die if I ever met Margaret Atwood so she's probably a bad choice. I thought maybe Audrey Niffenegger but I think I'm liking her stuff less and less as I read it. I would have to say Anita Diamant because she has transformed the way I write. The Red Tent, favourite book ever. Day after Night probably second favourite book ever. (Did I mention I exaggerate?) Her books made me read through Genesis again and become morbidly obsessed with reading books concerning the Holocaust. She is die-worthy as well so I would have to get myself under control first but I would sit in awe of her Jewishness probably perpetually. Then I would tell her I didn't really like Good Harbour.

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